Tag Archives: relationships

Man Cave

Tiger Woods Needs a Hug

by Rob Loeber

He’s not the most sympathetic figure.  He’s not easy to root for anymore and he’s made a colossal mess of his personal life.  But Tiger Woods could use a hug.

The man was once on top of the world.  Woods was at the pinnacle of the game of golf and on a collision course with history.  He was one of the most dominant, mentally tough athletes of all time.  He was married to a Swedish blonde so gorgeous that countries would go to war for her.  With that wife and two beautiful kids, the Woods’ looked like the family that comes in the picture with the frame you’d buy at Hobby Lobby.  In other words, Woods had it all.

Now he seems pathetic.

Everyone knows about his fall from grace off the course, his public humiliation, and his divorce.

But he’s just as pathetic on the golf course.  Thursday’s 77 in the first round of the PGA Championship was Woods’ worst first round at a major in his career.  He hit into 13 bunkers and played the last 13 holes at ten over par.  After the round, Woods called it a “calamity.” Continue reading Tiger Woods Needs a Hug →

Barbershop Theology

Barbershop Theology Pt. 1: Relationship Before Rules

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1965 with my little brother and sister . . . age 9, a workin' man.

My first job was a great gig. I learned a lot about responsibility, customer service, work ethic and satisfaction in a job well done. I was a shoeshine boy.

In 1965 my dad gave me a corner of his barbershop and spotted me the money to buy Kiwi Shoe Polish, saddle soap and a few brushes.  The pool hall owner, George, gave me a couple of strips of pool table fabric. I used the green felt to finish each shoe shine with a brisk buff.

The cost for a shine was 2 bits (that’s a quarter). Often times I would get a ten cent tip. I could finish a long Saturday with a pocket full of change, black fingers and the swagger of a workin’ man. (Oh the stories I can tell you about my years in the barber shop. Lord willing, I shall do so in posts to come.)

Of course you are wondering, “Hmmm, and just how do I get a cool job like that?”

Well, you don’t have to go to college or anything. In fact, I got my start when I was nine years old. I don’t even remember interviewing for the job. Continue reading Barbershop Theology Pt. 1: Relationship Before Rules →

Man Cave

Real Men and Bouldering

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Last weekend, I went bouldering at Joshua Tree National Park. If you are unfamiliar with what exactly bouldering entails, let me enlighten you.

Bouldering, by definition is “a style of rock climbing undertaken without a rope and normally limited to very short climbs. It is typically practiced on large natural boulders or artificial boulders in gyms and outdoor urban areas. However, it may also be practiced at the base of larger rock faces.” Thank you Wikipedia for that one.

In the simplest of terms, bouldering is basically just walking around, up, down, over, and under a bunch of big rocks. Rocks like these:

Continue reading Real Men and Bouldering →

Relationships

Our Troubadours of the 21st Century

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There is a small magnetic whiteboard on my refrigerator.  The white plastic apparatus, clinging by electromagnetic magic to the fingerprint smudged stainless steel veneer, catches my eye every time I turn on my lights in the morning.  The whiteboard has become a beacon, a challenge, and a reminder of things to think about I didn’t know I should consider.

Why?  Because my future son-in-law puts quotes on the board and leaves them there.  Sometimes I see him writing them.  Other times I’m surprised with a new message.  But they’re always powerful; they’re full of the angst and strength of young lovers and budding poets and young men and women discovering the world.  They remind me of the troubadours of the High Middle Ages.  And, they remind me that humans are passionate…that I should take care with the souls of those whom fate has placed in my family on Earth.

Continue reading Our Troubadours of the 21st Century →

Relationships

Seven Things You Should Expect From a Couples or Family Therapist

From Moonstruck

I.
Rose: Do you love him, Loretta?
Loretta Castorini: No.
Rose: Good. When you love them they drive you crazy because they know they can.

II.
Rose: Do you love him, Loretta?
Loretta Castorini: Aw, ma, I love him awful.
Rose: Oh, God, that’s too bad.

***

Early February serves as a reminder to consider those you love platonically, as well as those with whom you are in a romantic relationship.  National Marriage Week is celebrated during Valentine’s Day season, and we see lots of information on television and the internet about how people enjoy their special time together, all in the name of Love.  What also happens, however, is that Valentine’s Day sometimes brings to the front of our minds things that aren’t going so well.  This is because, for some, the thought or events surrounding the season inevitably point them back home…where the heart is….or, where the heart MIGHT be if it weren’t for the fact that they were arguing all the time.

For those of you who plan to go out and have a wonderful time during the upcoming “week of love,” we wish you the best.  But for those of you who might be considering the possibility of getting some positive change in an unhealthy relationship, I want to make sure you have this list.  I’ve practiced therapy for ten years now and have summarized a list of standards you should expect if you decide to get counseling for your relationship. The list is based upon discussions with my own clients, and also from cases I’ve supervised:

Continue reading Seven Things You Should Expect From a Couples or Family Therapist →