Tag Archives: parenting

Five Rules for Dads Raising Daughters

I’ve been reading a lot of books and blogs lately on fatherhood and raising girls. From what I’ve read, there seems to be at least five common threads (probably more) running through most of the stuff that really speaks to me. Maybe they’re not really rules. Maybe they’re more like tips… tips, hints, suggestions, guidelines, or something like that. Whatever you call them, in no particular order, here are five:

1. Love her mom. Treat her mother with respect, honor, and a big heaping spoonful of public displays of affection. When she grows up, the odds are good she’ll fall in love with someone who treats her much like you treated her mother. Good or bad, that’s just the way it is. I’d prefer good.
Continue reading Five Rules for Dads Raising Daughters

You Can’t Handle the Tooth!

Every parent knows the drill.  Kid loses tooth (usually in a dramatic 3-part episode building up to a bloody, dangling tooth hanging on by a thread before the parent steps in to put the tooth out of its misery).  Kid quickly trades tears for excitement over an anticipated visit from the Tooth Fairy.  Parent helps kid write a special note to Her Highness O’ Teeth and they place the tooth and note under kid’s pillow.  The next morning, kid rejoices at his/her newfound riches, ditches the tooth, and lives happily ever after.

Having a six-year-old means we’re in the thick of the tooth-losing stage.  We’ve effortlessly moved through the above steps seven times thus far.  But tooth #8 proved to be a bit problematic.  In short, Bailey lost her tooth and then actually LOST her tooth, so there was no evidence to leave for the Tooth Fairy. Continue reading You Can’t Handle the Tooth!

The Righteous Nest

With the experience of Easter 2011 fresh in my mind, I decided it was fitting to share a story about my daughter’s ability to inspire those around her with her insight into God’s word.  I originally documented this story back in 2009, so she would have been 4 years old.  Enjoy!
Bailey has always had big thoughts and a big attitude.  These attributes serve her well in many situations, and contribute to her downfall in an equal number of others.  On the positive side, her big thoughts also apply to things of a spiritual nature.  From an early age, she was always asking questions, and regularly offered simple yet poignant interpretations of favorite Bible stories.  In fact, we loved to engage her in deep conversation about any and all things as, if nothing else, her theories provided a new perspective on “old” ideas.
Out of the blue one day, she came to her grandmother (my MIL Jeanne) and asked, “What is a righteous nest?” While questions were not uncommon, even ones that required a good deal of head scratching before a response could be summoned, this particular question seemed quite odd.

“What do you mean, a righteous nest? Where did you hear it?”

Bailey, as she was known to do, sighed with exasperation.

“It’s in that song. The one where God has a righteous nest.” Continue reading The Righteous Nest

A Father-Son Moment on an Ethiopian Balcony

Editor’s note: Five and one-half months ago, Josh submitted this post as a dedication to a turning point in his life of Fatherhood.  Last week we submitted a post on “Five Questions to Ask Yourself” about adopting and/or fostering a child.  We’re re-submitting this piece as a human experience complement to those questions.  ~ RDK

by Josh Bottomly

Staring down at my adopted son’s new visa and passport for the first time, I did a double take when I noticed something very odd.  The bold print read:  Tesfamariam Josh.  I asked Tafesse, our Ethiopian driver, if there had been some kind of misprint or mistake.  Tefesse grinned and then explained:  “In Ethiopia, a child’s last name is his father’s first name,” Tefasse explained.  It’s our tradition.”  I looked over at Amy in confusion.  “So my name would be Josh Roc,” I asked Tafesse, “and Amy’s would be Amy Glen?” Tafesse nodded and said, “In our culture, naming one’s child is a sacred act.  It’s a blood ritual.  It denotes a very special bond.”

Later that night, I woke up around 4:30 a.m. to Silas’ whimper.  Since it was my turn to take the night shift, I gathered Silas up in my arms and took him out onto the hotel patio, the only “cry proof” place in the hotel.

As I scanned my eyes across the city streets hushed under a blanket of fog and mist, I rocked Silas in my arms and sang quietly over him.  Suddenly, an image surfaced and bobbed on the wake of my mind.  It was of a photograph of my father and I, now yellow and faded with time.  In the photo, I was scrunched up close to my dad like a koala bear.  I must have been no older than Silas.  Dad and I were at the beach, both wearing lemon-colored swim shorts.  The sun reflected against our pale white thighs, and because of the sunhat on my tiny head, it was hard to see my freckled face or any of the tufts of my reddish-blond hair.  Dad’s face unforgettably was contorting and howling like a wolf as ten pounds of squirmy flesh scratched up against his chest hairs, sending tickle bumps through his body. Continue reading A Father-Son Moment on an Ethiopian Balcony

5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Becoming a Fostering or Adopting Parent

The process of thinking about, seriously considering, then finally embracing the decision to adopt or foster a child is big.  Really big.  You might be getting opinions or advice from many different directions.

In Oklahoma, you could have a number of opportunities to consider this question for yourself; we have a great many children waiting to be adopted through our state agency system, as well as a serious need for more safe and stable foster care homes.   A recent series of events and activities have led to a greater awareness of this need in our state, and with the message being spread, more people than ever before might be considering the “big decision.”

When it comes right down to it, however, regardless of the information you get at a conference, a church service, or from your family or friends…YOU are the one meeting a need.  So, having a conversation with yourself, or intentionally walking through a process of checks and balances with those you care about the most could be helpful.  That’s why I’ve provided this list of five questions to ask yourself.  I hope it serves as a guide for at least the beginning process to your big decision:

1)    Is my marriage or committed relationship healthy? Or, am I healthy and ready? Many times, the desire to bring children into your life to nurture and support comes from healthy attitudes about providing for those who have needs not being met.  Being willing to support and raise another human being is extremely admirable.  However, one of the key conversations you’ll need to have with yourself first and foremost is – am I bringing this child into a healthy environment?  Is your marriage or committed relationship strong? If you plan on sing-parenting, are YOU emotionally healthy and strong? Can you serve as a model for your potential child or children? Can your marriage survive tests of stressful events, transitions and challenges?

If you answered no to those any of those questions, then perhaps you need to shore up your home-front first. Continue reading 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Becoming a Fostering or Adopting Parent