by Joey Rodman

Having trouble deciding what to be for Halloween?

Broke?

Apathetic?

Expected to wear something to work or a party? Here are my very best ideas for last minute super cheap costumes:

For Men ~

Cereal Killer:  Wear your every day wardrobe, carry around a box of cereal that’s been maimed.  Add fake blood.

Arthur Dent: Wear your bathrobe (wear sweats underneath!) and carry around a tea-cup.  Look confused…

Ghost Hunter: Wear sweats and a hoodie, carry around an old remote control, wave it around while talking about *EMF fields.

For Women~

Your Mother: Embrace it.  Say all the things she says. Wear the dorky clothes she wears; borrow an outfit from her if you can.  Just be sure not to make the parody too close or she’ll never forgive you.

80’s Girl: You know you want to…good thing they still make Aqua-Net.  Embarrass everyone around you, it’ll be great! Bonus points for attempting a “Cyndi Lauper.”

Cat, mouse, dog, or other animal: Cut out said animal’s ears from construction paper and tape it to a headband. Wear whatever you want and pin a tail to your butt.  Growl, snarl, hiss, etc. at anyone who says you’re not wearing a “real costume.”  The sell is all in the threat of rabies; be sure to look a little mad.

~Joey Rodman

*Electromagnetic Fields