The process of thinking about, seriously considering, then finally embracing the decision to adopt or foster a child is big.  Really big.  You might be getting opinions or advice from many different directions.

In Oklahoma, you could have a number of opportunities to consider this question for yourself; we have a great many children waiting to be adopted through our state agency system, as well as a serious need for more safe and stable foster care homes.   A recent series of events and activities have led to a greater awareness of this need in our state, and with the message being spread, more people than ever before might be considering the “big decision.”

When it comes right down to it, however, regardless of the information you get at a conference, a church service, or from your family or friends…YOU are the one meeting a need.  So, having a conversation with yourself, or intentionally walking through a process of checks and balances with those you care about the most could be helpful.  That’s why I’ve provided this list of five questions to ask yourself.  I hope it serves as a guide for at least the beginning process to your big decision:

1)    Is my marriage or committed relationship healthy? Or, am I healthy and ready? Many times, the desire to bring children into your life to nurture and support comes from healthy attitudes about providing for those who have needs not being met.  Being willing to support and raise another human being is extremely admirable.  However, one of the key conversations you’ll need to have with yourself first and foremost is – am I bringing this child into a healthy environment?  Is your marriage or committed relationship strong? If you plan on sing-parenting, are YOU emotionally healthy and strong? Can you serve as a model for your potential child or children? Can your marriage survive tests of stressful events, transitions and challenges?

If you answered no to those any of those questions, then perhaps you need to shore up your home-front first. Continue reading 5 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Becoming a Fostering or Adopting Parent →