Tag Archives: fatherhood

Man Cave, Relationships, Travel

A Father-Son Moment on an Ethiopian Balcony

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Editor’s note: Five and one-half months ago, Josh submitted this post as a dedication to a turning point in his life of Fatherhood.  Last week we submitted a post on “Five Questions to Ask Yourself” about adopting and/or fostering a child.  We’re re-submitting this piece as a human experience complement to those questions.  ~ RDK

by Josh Bottomly

Staring down at my adopted son’s new visa and passport for the first time, I did a double take when I noticed something very odd.  The bold print read:  Tesfamariam Josh.  I asked Tafesse, our Ethiopian driver, if there had been some kind of misprint or mistake.  Tefesse grinned and then explained:  “In Ethiopia, a child’s last name is his father’s first name,” Tefasse explained.  It’s our tradition.”  I looked over at Amy in confusion.  “So my name would be Josh Roc,” I asked Tafesse, “and Amy’s would be Amy Glen?” Tafesse nodded and said, “In our culture, naming one’s child is a sacred act.  It’s a blood ritual.  It denotes a very special bond.”

Later that night, I woke up around 4:30 a.m. to Silas’ whimper.  Since it was my turn to take the night shift, I gathered Silas up in my arms and took him out onto the hotel patio, the only “cry proof” place in the hotel.

As I scanned my eyes across the city streets hushed under a blanket of fog and mist, I rocked Silas in my arms and sang quietly over him.  Suddenly, an image surfaced and bobbed on the wake of my mind.  It was of a photograph of my father and I, now yellow and faded with time.  In the photo, I was scrunched up close to my dad like a koala bear.  I must have been no older than Silas.  Dad and I were at the beach, both wearing lemon-colored swim shorts.  The sun reflected against our pale white thighs, and because of the sunhat on my tiny head, it was hard to see my freckled face or any of the tufts of my reddish-blond hair.  Dad’s face unforgettably was contorting and howling like a wolf as ten pounds of squirmy flesh scratched up against his chest hairs, sending tickle bumps through his body. Continue reading A Father-Son Moment on an Ethiopian Balcony →

Man Cave

The Coolest Desk Ever [OR] “I Am Weak”

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by Zac Logdson

A Guest Blogger Post for our MAN CAVE Section

Editor’s Note ~ This post is being reprinted with permission from the author.  Information about his company and other projects can be found at the end of the post. Thanks, Red Dirt Kelly

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As you may recall from a little more than a week ago, I sold my office desk without really any clue as to what I was gonna do to replace it.  But after about an hour working from a tiny spare desk we had lying around, that barely held my 30” monitor, I decided I needed to act fast.

My goal was to buy or build a custom desk made from something that wasn’t intended to be a desk.  And I wanted it to represent ME a lot better than the old one did.  I wanted people to walk in my office and have my desk be so mind-blowingly awesome that they’d have to turn away to shield themselves from the glory of it all.  I wanted my desk to send people into seizures.  I wanted it to cause children to weep and old people to wet themselves.  I wanted my desk to be both loved unconditionally by all who saw it AND feared by those who heard folk tales about it.  So I built that desk… and in the process, I became an extremely weak individual.

Back Story

A few years ago, I read somewhere (no idea where) that having pictures of your family on your desk was a sign of weakness.  I don’t know who made that claim or where that perception originated but whoever put that in print is a tool.  I can see where it might be accurate but do I really want to do business with anyone that thinks I’m weak just because I have a picture of my family on my desk?  That said, I think that concept always kinda stuck with me.  On my old desk, I had various photos of my family on the area behind me, plus drawings and notes on my bulletin board from my kids.  But like I said, they were behind me.  Definitely not the focus of my office.  So I decided to change that.

Building the Perfect Desk/Becoming Weak: Step 1 – Concept

There’s an architect in the basement of our building that had some really old (maybe a hundred years) wooden windows he was storing in a nearby shed.  I asked about them to see if he’d be willing to sell them. Continue reading The Coolest Desk Ever [OR] “I Am Weak” →

Man Cave

Real Men and Fear

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I’m afraid…

I’m afraid my daughter might grow up not realizing how much I treasure her. I’m afraid my wife might not know how much I really love her. I’m afraid I will get to the end of my life and realize that I’ve wasted many of my days chasing things that don’t matter. I’m afraid of insignificance. I’m afraid of not being awesome at everything I attempt. I’m afraid of people who would do me and my family harm with no concern whatsoever to the consequence of their actions. I’m afraid of the consequences of some of my actions. I’m afraid of getting passed over and left behind. I’m afraid my life doesn’t matter and my contributions aren’t significant. I’m afraid of getting cancer and dying before I’ve lived the life I always imagined for myself. I’m afraid of knives and guns. I’m afraid of not being liked. I’m afraid of snakes and poisonous spiders and velociraptors… yeah I went there. You would too if you happened to be a child the first time you saw Jurassic Park… those terrible bird-like buggers are some nasty creatures.

I’m afraid of all those things and more, but I don’t let fear paralyze me.

A real man knows that he’ll always have fear. No matter what he does or who he is, there will always be some things that cause him fear. And he’s OK with that because a real man knows how to experience his fear.

He doesn’t shy away from fear. In fact, he doesn’t even try to resist it. He wants to experience the feeling of his fear fully. He acknowledges the presence of fear and seeks to understand its cause. He knows that fear, much like happiness or anger or any other fleeting emotion is just that… a fleeting emotion.

A real man stares fear right in the face, tries to understand it for what it truly is, and then he acts. Continue reading Real Men and Fear →

Man Cave

Rules for Dating My Daughter

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While my wife was pregnant with our little girl last summer, I spent a lot of time thinking about certain things I wanted for her in life and continue to do so today, now that she’s almost five months old. And as the father of any little girl will tell you, one of the things a dad thinks about from the very earliest days of his daughter’s precious existence is who will some day replace him as the number one male in her life. While it would suit me just fine if  my daughter was single all of her life (sort of “the Mother Teresa” approach) I realize it’s more likely than not that a young man will come along and want to date her Last summer, with these things in mind, I composed the following 15 rules (technically they’re more like principles) that any young man would be wise to heed if he wishes to pursue courtship and romantic involvement with my daughter.

1. You must read this blog in it’s entirety. Not only is it full of wisdom, but what better way to a young woman’s heart than through the mind of her father?

2. Your automobile must be brand new and equipped with the latest safety features. Driver, passenger, side, and curtain airbags must come standard on your car. Dynamic traction control is a plus, as are roll bars, reinforced steel door pillars, anti-lock breaks, and crumple zones. When you come to pick her up for your first date, please bring a copy of either the Car and Driver or Motor Trends safety report for your trusty rubber-footed steed. I will read it while we sit and wait on my daughter to finish getting ready. If I have questions, I will ask you. Do not speak until you are spoken to.

3. My daughter is always to be returned in better condition than when you picked her up. I call this the return policy. Violate it and I will charge you a steep re-stocking fee.

Continue reading Rules for Dating My Daughter →

Man Cave

Real Men and Bouldering

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Last weekend, I went bouldering at Joshua Tree National Park. If you are unfamiliar with what exactly bouldering entails, let me enlighten you.

Bouldering, by definition is “a style of rock climbing undertaken without a rope and normally limited to very short climbs. It is typically practiced on large natural boulders or artificial boulders in gyms and outdoor urban areas. However, it may also be practiced at the base of larger rock faces.” Thank you Wikipedia for that one.

In the simplest of terms, bouldering is basically just walking around, up, down, over, and under a bunch of big rocks. Rocks like these:

Continue reading Real Men and Bouldering →