When I was a 23 year old college student planning my first wedding, I knew exactly what my bridesmaids would wear, the color of the flowers, where we would spend our honeymoon, where we would live after the wedding, and what our dishes would look like. What I did not plan is that we would be divorced eight years later.

Several years were spent building a “we” life, enjoying time with our couple friends, merging bank accounts, buying a home, and eventually beginning a family. When it became apparent that we were not right for each other, there was nothing left to do but to deconstruct that life and go back to a “me” life. It’s a delicate surgical process that doesn’t come with anesthesia.

This deconstruction process was by far, the lowest point in my life. The “we” that we had carefully built was ripped into “yours” and “mine.” Friends who I thought would always be in my life, chose sides and many walked away from our friendship. Thankfully, I had maintained good relationships with my closest girlfriends and they became my rocks (Thanks Marcy, Carla, Alison, and Amy). Divorce is definitely a time when you find out who your true friends are. Bank accounts were separated. The home we had so carefully decorated and landscaped was sold. A joint custody arrangement was reached for our 2 year old. My ex took the stuff that he had entered the relationship with, I took mine, and we evenly divided the rest. I have never felt more lonely, sad, scared, confused, or hurt than I did as we dismantled the dreams we had started together. Continue reading When Divorce Turns Prince Charming into Attila the Hun →