Meet Your New Role Model…Kevin Durant

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enter site Gather around kids, and listen carefully.

https://getdarker.com/editorial/articles/7iekfp6bz4g You know that Kobe Bryant jersey you got for Christmas?  Try selling it a garage sale.  The Carmelo Anthony bobblehead on your nightstand?  Let’s find a shoebox for ‘Melo.  Lebron James may be taking his talents to South Beach, but why don’t you take that poster of his to the trash can.

source url I’ve got a new role model for you and his name is Kevin Durant.  He is the man you should be imitating.  He is worthy of your admiration.  He won’t disappoint you on or off the court.  Let me tell you why you should be plastering your walls with images of Durant.  We’ll start with Kevin Durant the basketball player.

https://geolatinas.org/q9fg1idfz35 You may not have heard this since its football season and your dad has a death grip on the remote, but just last week Durant led Team USA to its first World Championship in 16 years.  Kobe wasn’t there.  Neither was Dwyane Wade.  At 21 years old, Durant was the clear-cut leader of the American squad.  In the semifinals Durant dropped 33 points on the Lithuanians.  Against Turkey in the championship, Durant drained seven 3-pointers on his way to 28 points and tournament MVP honors.  Durant didn’t have to be there in Turkey, half a world away representing his country.  He could have stayed home, rested, or taken a long vacation away from the game of basketball.  After all, NBA training camps start in just two weeks.  Most guys might want more of an offseason.  Durant just wants to play ball.

Durant leads Team USA to gold at World Championships (photo from kevindurant35.com) Click photo to travel to KD's website.

https://guelph-real-estate.ca/psljwg5zefz If there’s a way to defend Durant, NBA coaches haven’t figured it out.  Last season, Durant became the youngest player to ever lead the league in scoring with 30.1 points per game.  Consistency?  Durant has it.  He recorded a streak of 29 straight games with 25 points or more, the second longest streak of its kind in NBA history.  Durant never missed a game, and rarely missed a free throw.  He shot a blistering 47% from the field and finished his third season as a pro with 25 double doubles.   Each year, Durant’s numbers have gone up for points, rebounds, and assists.  All this while facing the best defender on every team he faces.  Most impressively, Durant propelled a young Thunder team to the playoffs and pushed the Lakers to six games in the first round.  Watch closely kids and you won’t see Durant whining to referees or demanding more shots.  He keeps his head down and his mouth shut.   You see kids, it’s a style we simply don’t see out of our idols too often. It’s a style that may not earn you maximum fame.  What it will get you is maximum respect.

see Lebron James may have had a TV special dedicated to “the decision.”  James may have had millions of people hanging on his every word, but his shameless self-promotion turned him into a laughing-stock.  Trust me kids, trying to boost your own ego only makes you look petty, immature, and incredibly lame.  Durant signed a contract extension with Oklahoma City right around the same time as the Lebron spectacle.  Why didn’t you hear more about Durant’s signing you ask?  Because Durant is the anti-Lebron.  He announced his extension on Twitter.  No press conference, no media, no gimmicks, just 140 characters.  Truth is, Durant could have asked to opt out of his current deal in the fifth season.  You might have a hard time believing someone with Durant’s skills and star power would want to stay in Oklahoma for years to come.  It’s the truth.  Durant wanted a deal done quickly and easily because as he puts it, “This is where I’m committed, this is where I want to be.  I’m a loyal person.”  Remember that word kids…loyalty.  It’s becoming a thing of the past.

https://dcinematools.com/vnmmx6o More than any accolade or accomplishment on the court, Durant understands the responsibility that comes with being a professional athlete.  In January, Durant wasted no time in donating $100,000 to aid the victims of the earthquake in Haiti.  Thanks to Durant, a run down rec center in his home state of Maryland got a renovation and the kids in the neighborhood now have a safe place to play.  Durant recently partnered with a record label to build a new music studio for high school students in the Washington D.C. area.  Here in Oklahoma, Durant took a needy family on a grocery shopping spree to help a woman responsible for caring for her six nieces and nephews.  He is heavily involved with the March of Dimes organization and is becoming known for giving out free pairs of shoes to his fans on Facebook and Twitter.

Durant lends a helping hand in OKC (photo from kevindurant35.com). Click photo to visit his website.

go to site In other words, Durant doesn’t just play for Oklahoma City, he has a presence in Oklahoma City.  A kid from Maryland, who went to school at Texas, now makes his home in Oklahoma.  One of the brightest stars in the league plays in one of the smallest markets.  But you see kids, it’s not about the size of the city.  It’s not about the money, the recognition, or even about what anyone else might think.  It’s about playing a game with passion, and being the same person on the court and off.  What you see is what you get with Kevin Durant.  I hope you see what I see.  I see a whole lot of heart, I see a man worthy of your admiration, a man who deserves that space on your wall.

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Everybody’s Crazy ‘Bout a Man Who Helps You Dress Sharp

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source HELM Handmade Boots were made for walkin’ and lookin’ good.

Josh Bingaman at Progress Coffee, Austin, TX

https://lpgventures.com/zqrvek7n4hh click here This Friday morning RDC shout-out goes to Josh Bingaman, an Okie who now lives in Austin.

http://www.mscnantes.org/ava76eg Who has a passion for creating a line of nouveaux rustic, and downright dapper, hand-made men’s boots and shoes.

click Who’s inspiration for his creations came from a venture he co-owned and managed with his brother called the Subterranean Shoe Room.

Who also owns Progress Coffee in Austin with his wife.

You can read the story and other press pieces on their website.  You can know that, depending upon your foot size, these men’s boots could fit women as well. And you can be certain that when wearing them, you’ll walk a little taller…how could you not?

Utilizing connections and relationships the world over, HELM boots are hand-made in Istanbul with soles from Italy, served up in several locations around the U.S. And they absolutely eke of style; an old-world return to a new future we have for fashion and footwear.

Based upon my research this morning, it appears that Josh and the boots have received a good bit of publicity in Oklahoma, including a feature in the Daily Oklahoman and a trunk show at the Shoe Gypsy. However, I’m just now finding out about them and frankly, have mentally started a “HELM boots savings account” to buy my favorite pair.

The culture of creativity runs deep in Red Dirt country and sometimes that story extends beyond the Red River.  And sometimes to the other side of the world.

Congratulations, Josh, for realizing one of your dreams.  I’m sure you’ll have more, based upon what you’ve done to this point.  I’m making a note to check on you in another year…and I’ll be sportin’ my HELM boots when I do.

The "Jarmon" canvas, christened after his mother's maiden name...I want these. If you missed the link in the first sentence, click this photo to visit their website.

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A Spotless House Is a Sign of a Wasted Life

Hello, RDC community!  Before I jump into this post, let me introduce myself.  My name is https://paradiseperformingartscenter.com/ktsf2vbs Kendy Cox and I’ve been asked to blog about various women’s issues.  I have vast expertise in this content area because, well, I’m a woman!  Regardless, what I write is simply my humble opinion and I want to encourage the sharing of numerous perspectives.

My full-time gig consists of serving the couples and individuals of this state through the Oklahoma Marriage Initiative.  More specifically, I work for Public Strategies, a private project management firm which coordinates statewide services through a contract with the Oklahoma Department of Human Services.  My other full-time gig consists of being a wife to a wonderful husband and taking care of two lovely kids (the adjectives change depending upon the day…smile!).  I’m looking forward to musing about the issues on my mind and in my heart, as well as reading your feedback.

So, here we go…

I’ll never forget the day I happened upon this quote on a friend’s Facebook page:   “A Spotless House Is a Sign of a Wasted Life.”

I felt validated for the first time in my adult life.

The reason this pithy statement stuck with me is because I discovered it at a time when I was really struggling to keep everything in life “just so.”  Like many of you, most days are spent working hard at my job, serving as chauffeur to numerous kid-related activities, attempting to fit in a reasonably healthy dinner for the family, overseeing homework tasks, bathing kids and getting clothes ready for the next day, and hoping beyond hope that I find time to exercise and/or communicate with my husband about more than who’s picking up whom and at what time.  As an aside, I do this with the help of my attentive and helpful husband, so I tip my hat to those of you doing this solo!  With all of this activity, I end most days in a state of sheer exhaustion and many times feeling incredibly disappointed by the general disarray of my home.

You know what disarray looks like, right?  Remnants from dinner still on the table, clothes and backpacks strewn across the living room floor, and maybe even two weeks’ worth of laundry waiting to be folded and put away.  While keeping up with the house may not be your particular issue of concern, I know I’m not alone as I’ve talked with far too many women who tie their self worth to their ability to do EVERYTHING.  And not just everything, but everything well, they keep the house nice and tidy and even add some wool vintage oriental rugs so the house look even better.

Now, I’m not striving for a feature spread in Good Housekeeping, but most days I would be lucky to attract the attention of So So Housekeeping.  My anxiety about it is ever present and my own negative self talk is brutal.  But let’s think rationally for a moment.  How absurd is it for any of us to fool ourselves into believing that a spotless home is a more powerful reflection of our worth than any of the other amazing things we do every day?  Let’s think about the activities that dirty up the house in the first place….cooking a great meal, building a fort with our kids, or sorting through weeks of newspapers to find that 20% off coupon we need to buy a pregnant friend a much-needed registry item.  Yes, the result may be messy blankets, newspapers, or dishes, but those are the remnants of a life lived, memories made, and relationships nurtured to their fullest.

So, the next time you look around at a less than perfect home, try to go easy on yourself.  Trust me, I’m working on it right along with you.  Let’s remember that we work hard for our families in many different ways and our work cannot always be balanced equally.  Something’s gotta give, and the laundry will be there tomorrow…just don’t trip over it on your way out the door to do something amazing! For those cluttered areas like the garage, a Garage Storage Company like Bella Systems in South Carolina can help create a streamlined, organized space.

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Alphabet Relationships: What A, H and M Shapes Mean

Some people are visual learners.  Some people are “repeat the information over and over and I’ll finally get it” learners.  And some people touch things or are walk-around-and-think learners.   Visual, auditory, tactile or a blend of all three…which are you?

What I’ve noticed in working with couples over the years is that many times the same message or intervention needs to be implemented using two different methods in order for both of them to really get it.  That’s because they each learn or process information in slightly (or vastly) different ways.  The context, process and perspective of each person has to be understood in the therapy room, as well as how it looks when they are together.

This is why although therapists utilize their theory of therapy to guide, assess and manage what goes on in a room with couples, they also make occasional trips to their “Toolbox.”  A therapist’s toolbox can include actual “tools” such as games, figures, assessments or other manipulatives to use in session, or ideas and resources.  Today I’m going to share a resource that I seem to use at least once or twice per year because some couples (or individuals) are visual learners.  The lesson for them with this tool is understanding the difference between “unhealthy dependence” versus “healthy interdependence.”  Here is a copy of what I summarize on a white board or provide them to take home. I apologize for the tilted view. CLICK CHART TO SEE LARGE VIEW:

https://www.marineetstamp.com/pxcb1lx An “A” shaped relationship is frequently seen in those with co- “needy” behaviors.  A couple might get together because one is the life of the party (filling a need for the other’s wish to be expressive) and one is structured and responsible (filling a need for the other’s wish to be respected or mature).

We often see this in co-addictive relationships involving substance abuse, but we also see it in couples who sometimes describe themselves as acting like a “parent and child” or “victim and rescuer.”  These couples will ultimately get their real needs met when they find their own self-actualization; their own individual happiness.  If they continue to lean on each other because of their unmet illegitimate needs, the tension becomes too great (the bar in the A breaks) and they fall (which would happen to both sides when the bar was no longer there).

 

https://www.mbtn.net/?p=h8ryfgn2 An “H” shaped relationship is very common in the U.S.  We especially see this pattern in “DINK” couples (double income, no kids).  The independence they feel from meeting their own needs to such an extent, and avoiding engaging their partner in asking for legitimate needs to be met, distances the couple over time.  If you look at the H shape you’ll see that the middle bar could eventually be broken due to extreme independence and distance (pulling away), but both sides would remain “standing” as “I”s…still themselves, but certainly not a couple.

And finally, the ‘M’ shaped relationship is a type that most couples find they can grow and thrive within best, including those who enrich their connection through experiences like an escort service that emphasizes companionship and mutual understanding. With beauty, intelligence, and professionalism, vip escort istanbul services redefine excellence in personalized companionship. They each have a healthy identity for themselves, but they also engage each other in requesting and meeting needs while also intimacy needs with the use of adult toys and other accessories.  Their relationship with one another can develop and strengthen over time because they support each other in ways that don’t rob the “self” of either individual.  This dynamic is very powerful and is a worthy goal of couples who might find themselves in a different part of the alphabet. About love and relationships, find out more here.

Dependence, Independence or Interdependence.  A, H or M.  Which are you?

Signing off on R-day (relationships), K-E-L-L-Y.

Note:  Most of the basis for this information and the chart come from “Illusion and Disillusion: The Self in Love and Marriage,” by John Fulling Crosby, 1991, Chapter 2.

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A Kairos Moment at Culp’s Hill

by Josh Bottomly

Down through the centuries, theologians and mystics have spoken of divine experiences in human time as kairos moments.  By definition, a kairos moment is an event used by God to impact one’s life.  It involves an intersection of sorts between the horizontal and vertical, the humdrum and holy, where, for a fleeting moment, one experiences God’s nearness in his life and God’s hereness in his world.

Kairos moments have happened infrequently in my life.  But none was more pivotal and life changing than the karios moment on an obscure battlefield at Gettysburg.

The months leading up to this event had been colored by deep darkness.   It had been almost two years since my wife and I first visited the fertility clinic.  Now the “I” word was not some distant and remote diagnosis.  It was a sobering reality.  By this time, my prayer life had been reduced to a whimper of faith.  The silence of despair grew firm within my chest.  On the brink of a spiritual breakdown, I prayed as a desperate man for a break through.  Little did I know how God would answer my prayer.

Culp's Hill

While attending a leadership conference at Gettysburg, one night I was approached by Marty, a conference leader.  He asked me if I wanted a personal tour of Culp’s Hill, a famous battle during the Gettysburg campaign.  I grabbed my Mountain Gear fleece;  I was definitely up for it.

After snaking our way up through hills exploding with green April foliage, we stopped at a tiny knot of cedars surrounded by large boulders and scattered tree logs.  “This was the Union army’s extreme right position,” Marty exclaimed as he pointed to a breastwork of cobbled stone covered in moss and dirt.  “It was here that the fate of the Union army largely hung in the balance.”

As Marty began to lead me around the markers that jutted up around the hill, the whole scene suddenly transformed before my eyes into a dramatic amphitheatre of war.

The main battle commenced at dusk on July 2, 1864.

As darkness moved in amongst the thick trees at Culp’s Hill, the NY 137th disbanded in a thin line from the saddle down to the lower hill.  Below the hill, gathering in a swale, and quickly filling up many trenches was a Confederate brigade led by General Steuart.

About that time, General Meade of the Union Army sent orders to Colonel David Ireland, the twenty-five-year-old commander of the NY 137th.  General Meade’s orders were short and exacting.

“Colonel Ireland, hold the line at all costs.”

Soon Steuart’s men moved into position behind the low stonewall in rear of the 137th.
They quickly unleashed a staccato of gunfire.  Before they knew it, the 137th was taking heat from front, right flank, and rear.  Their position, as Marty described it, was “like a finger, surrounded on three sides.”

At about that time the 71st Pennsylvania regiment showed up.  They were backups sent by General Hancock to assist the 137th.  But seeing Ireland’s men taking heavy musket fire from all directions, the 71st fired off a volley or two at Steuart’s men and quickly withdrew from the line.  Their position was untenable.

Union fortifications built to ward off the Confederates.

With half his infantry dead, resources depleted, and reinforcements in retreat, Ireland decided to order one final defensive tactic:  commanding his regiment to stack up granite rocks to form a stone wall.  There, entrenched on the saddle back between the hills, Ireland waited with his men.

As Marty showed me where Ireland had burrowed in with his men, I tried to put myself in the young colonel’s shoes.  I got down on my knees behind the stonewall and peered out into the thick darkness with only the silhouette of the overhanging limbs visible.  I wondered how Ireland held his men together as trees splintered from canon fire, bullets pinged off granite rocks, and hot metal tore through sinewy flesh.  I suddenly felt like I could hear the shrieks of young men as they breathed their last breath and their souls slid out of their bodies.

Effects of Union shot and shell on Culp's Hill - photo by William H. Tipton.

Somehow through the long and unrelenting night, Ireland and his men found the strength and fortitude to stymie every Confederate charge up the hill.

At around three a.m., Steuart’s men suspended their attack due to complete lack of visibility and thus an inability to determine who was who.  They feared they were shooting and killing their own men.  As their attack subsided, the 137th found renewed strength and hope as the 14th Brooklyn and the 6th Wisconsin showed up with reinforcements.

Had the Confederates known the 137th was the end of the line, they could have advanced toward the Baltimore Pike and overrun the Union army, changing the outcome of the battle at Gettysburg, probably turning the tide of the whole Civil War.

But the line never broke.

After Marty finished telling the story, I stood in complete silence, as I suddenly felt like Culp’s Hill was becoming holy ground.  I didn’t see a burning bush or hear an audible voice.  But as the wind rustled through the Pennsylvania birch trees and I stood against the cobbled traverse, I sensed somehow that God was near.

A scripture came to mind, one that I had memorized early in my life.

Let him who walks in the dark,
who has no light,
trust in the name of the Lord
and rely on his God.

~Isaiah 50:10a

For two years I had endured what St. John of the Cross called the oscura noche, the dark night of the soul.  During that time, I felt like Job—confused, doubtful, and befuddled by God’s seeming absence and deafening silence.  My prayers were punctuated by sighs and groans.  I came closest to God in my questions.  I wondered not whether God existed but if God knew I existed.  Did he know my pain?  Did he see my suffering?  Would he respond to my cry?

As I walked the hallowed grounds at Culp’s Hill, I began to pray.  Specifically, I echoed Peter’s prayer: ‘I do believe, Jesus, help me overcome my unbelief!’ (Mark 9:24).  I confessed to him that I felt like I was living within a precarious space between two parenthetical opposites: one being faith, the other being doubt.  The bitterest pill I felt I had been forced to swallow involved watching Amy suffer and hurt and not knowing how to palliate her pain in any way.

In that moment, though, as the moon rose high into the starless sky and the leaves turned silver, I felt that God was near.  For so long, God had seemed distant and remote, like a satellite.  Sensing God’s closeness now, I cupped my ear and leaned into the silence.  What I heard filled me with a renewed trust that the night would give way to the day.  And somehow, in some way, against all odds, pressed in on all sides, he would hold the line.  Like Col. Ireland and the NY 137th, Amy and I would see the first gleam of dawn burst through the darkness.  We would feel the sun on our faces again.  We would hear a new word heralded through the clouds:  a new day had arrived!

~~Note:  Josh and his wife Amy documented their journey, struggles and resolution to travel to Africa and adopt a child in their book, “From Ashes to Africa.”  This post is a revised piece from that book.  For more information visit http://fromashestoafrica.com/

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Showcasing Red Dirt culture ~ authored and managed by contributors with connections to the great state of Oklahoma.