The Little Things I Miss The Most

More than a road sign, a sign of home and being back where I belong.

A few days ago I came back to Oklahoma for the first time in a couple of months.  I felt at home before my truck tires even touched the driveway of my parents’ house.  A comfortable feeling washed over me as soon as I crossed over the state line and saw that big “Welcome to Oklahoma” sign.  It was a sense of familiarity, belonging, and identity.  My license plate no longer says “Native America” but my head and my heart say I’ll always be an Okie.

 Sports is part of that identity.  It was so good to stop at a Loves’ station outside Sallisaw and see the t-shirts for sale.  Two choices, orange or crimson.  Back on the highway, the car in front of me showcased an upside down Longhorn sticker in its rear window.  A few miles more and another driver had his OSU car flags furiously flapping on both sides of the car.  Then the best of both worlds, when a car on the exit ramp displayed a “House Divided” license plate frame.  After shuffling through radio stations for hundreds of miles, the scanning stopped when I heard the familiar voices of my favorite sports talk hosts.   These are the little things I took for granted when I lived here for so many years.  People ask, “what do you miss about Oklahoma?”  The usual answers always come out first, family and friends, my house, my church, blah, blah, blah.  Crossing the state line the other day made me realize, it’s so much more than that, it’s the sports culture in this state I miss. (I miss you too Mom, no need to get offended here.)

If you’re from this state, you likely have a fierce allegiance to OU or OSU.  Pick a side and don’t turn back.  So many states are watered down with loyalty divided between several major universities and multiple professional franchises.  In Oklahoma, its simpler.  Our way of life is simple, our sports landscape is simple. 

Even though we may be divided along college lines, we can be united behind the Thunder.  I used to think pro sports wasn’t a good idea for Oklahoma.  We’ve got the great college atmosphere, we don’t need the NBA to enhance our status.  Let’s just say I’ve digested large quantities of crow.  This whole state has Thunder fever.  Even though I’ve never been a huge NBA fan, I miss the sense of pride that comes from proving the rest of the country wrong.  There’s room here for more than just college football.  Not only is Oklahoma worthy of the a team, it is quickly becoming one of the most respected franchises in the NBA.  The fan base is energized and unified by a team with players and coaches that represent our values and want to be part of this community.  Maybe this is silly or over the top, but in my mind, Thunder fans see the success of their team as a big slap in the face to the East Coast, West Coast, big cities, and so-called elites.  That’s the mentality of Oklahoma sports fans.  I love that mentality.  I miss that mentality.

The teams here are the major parts of Oklahoma sports culture, but again, it’s the little things I miss the most.  I miss reading the fishing report in the paper, seeing that largemouth are good on crankbaits at McGee Creek, then thinking about which one of my lures I’d use.  I miss Thursday night high school football.  Every week, a handful of games played before the rest where the schools get showcased and the kids feel that much more special.  I miss the public golf courses here.  You’re never far from a teebox in Oklahoma, and you can usually get in a round all the way into November. 

I miss the subtle jabs exchanged by Sooners and Cowboys over the airwaves.  I miss living and experiencing Bedlam every single day.  It’s not limited to the football field or the basketball court, Bedlam is alive and well at Wal-mart, at the bank, at the grocery store, and yes, even in the church sanctuaries. 

A rivalry that splits the state and even splits families, one of the best parts of our sports culture.

I miss the sports personalities here.  Like them or not, guys like Bob Barry Jr., Jim Traber, Al Eshbach, John Holcomb, and Al Jerkens are practically institutions in this state.  We come to expect those voices and those faces delivering our sports news, telling our sports stories, and asking questions on our behalf.  Why are guys like that popular?  Because they’re loyal to this state and can’t possibly see themselves living or working anywhere else. 

I miss hearing Bob Stoops say “in a good way” in every other sentence.  I miss Pistol Pete’s freakishly large head.  I miss hearing Bob Barry say “Touchdown Oklahoma!” and a high-pitched “pistols firing!” coming from the pipes of Dave Hunziker. 

One day maybe I’ll once again be a full-time resident of this great state.  I hope so.  No matter where I might lay my head, I will love Oklahoma and consider it home.  I will always know that there’s a bass to be caught in a farm pond, a Bedlam debate to be had, and a simple sports culture that suits me just fine.  The little things will stick with me.

Don’t worry Mom, I’ll miss you too.

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Friday Morning Shoutout 10/8/10: The Oklahoma Historical Society & History Center

 

Oklahoma History Center (OHC) at Night - images provided by the OHC

 

One of the more recent precious jewels in Oklahoma’s crown has been the addition of the Oklahoma History Center, supported by the continued development and dedication of the Oklahoma Historical Society and their community stakeholders.

Last night I spent 30 minutes exploring their website.  The first five minutes were used to review their current and upcoming events for October; I got overwhelmed…so much to do, so many choices!  Then a blog hyperlink caught my eye.  Well, I was “done for” at that point.  I read three or four posts.  Okay I read five, commented on all of them like an overzealous cheerleader, then told myself “Stop! It will be there tomorrow, and even the next day!”

I do hope you’ll visit their facility very soon, either to look through their exhibits or attend an event held in the beautiful building.  And, if you ever have a chance to hear Director Dr. Bob Blackburn speak, my recommendation would be to drop your other calendared commitments and choose him.  The guy knows his stuff, he’s really approachable and is a true teacher and scholar.  Maybe I should have just written this shout out for him…yea, Dr. Blackburn!

 

"Tipi With Battle Pictures" - OHC Blog Photo, Authored by Matt Reed

 

However, there is much more than Dr. Blackburn’s speaking to enjoy.  October is “Family History Month,” with new events, contests and news being posted every day. Check out their events calendar by clicking here.

The Center, the Society and all those involved who helped build what we now enjoy are to be commended…and for your efforts, you ALL get our RDC Friday Morning Shout Out.

Thanks for the good work, Red Dirt Kelly

 

"Winnie Mae" Atrium at the OHC - Photo provided by the OHC

 

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Hey, Hecklers: Common Sense May Not Equate with Comment Cents

Editor’s Note – I’d like to welcome guest contributor Jennifer Wallis to the Red Dirt Chronicles this morning.  Personal finance is an important area of our lives, and having someone like Jennifer around will be a great asset for both the readers AND contributors to the RDC.  Jennifer, I used “asset” as a word…can you tell I just read your post? –

Red Dirt Kelly

Most days, the audiences I teach in our financial education classes are open-minded and eager to learn. But, every once in while, I come face to face with that person sitting in the back of the room, arms folded, head tilted, apparently being held against their will who asks smugly, “Isn’t it just common sense to spend less than you make?”

This question conjures up feelings from long ago Trivial Pursuit games with one of my best friends, Marcy. While I love her like a sister, she has a white hot competitive streak. The girl hates to lose. I discovered her love for winning the hard way. Back in college, we were playing Trivial Pursuit and it was her turn to ask the question. She would look at the card, read the answer to herself and scoff, ‘Oh my gosh! This is SO easy!”  The question would invariably be something that I could never answer even if all of my brain synapses were firing perfectly.  “Who became the President of Kazakhstan in 1991?” she would ask as she rolled her baby blues at me. Of course, I would have no idea. She would then exclaim, “Wow! I can’t believe you don’t know that! It’s obviously Nursultan Nazarbayev.” Yes, of course, Nazarbayev. I can’t believe I didn’t get that one…

It’s something that we laugh about now. But, after her competitive trivia streak was revealed, we decided that for the sake of our friendship, Trivial Pursuit may not be the best idea. While I won’t kick the smug person out of their back seat in my financial education class, I do have a message for him/her.

First of all, saying that spending less than you make “is just common sense” implies that anyone living in debt has none. If you happen to be one of the Americans that owe a chunk of the $950 billion dollars in credit card debt or if you are one of the 17,787 Oklahomans that filed bankruptcy last year, you know that common sense has little to do with it. Those living with the dirty little secret of debt are probably already beating themselves up about it and they don’t need anyone kicking them while they are down.

The answer to any question is obvious when it’s written on a little card in your hand. Money management may be easy when you know how to do it. So, for those great money managers out there that have never struggled with debt, paid a bill late, or overdrawn their checking account, I say, “Way to go!” A truly an amazing accomplishment.

But, for the rest of us with whom money management does not come easy, let me say this: Your view of the financially challenged as unintelligent or lacking in common sense really doesn’t help. If someone takes time out of their life to attend a money management class, learn to budget and develop a plan to become debt-free, they should be commended. The easy thing to do is to go into ostrich mode, bury our heads, and ignore the mounting pressure of debt. But, if someone admits that they need more information and tries to make a life change, they need support – not contempt.

Everyone’s financial life consists of stages. Needs in college (pizza, beer, books…check) are quite different from those when you get married (buy a house, have a baby, have another, plan for retirement and put your own kids through college). It isn’t easy to navigate those changes without some additional support and education. When life throws in other factors like illness, divorce, job loss, the death of a family member, or an unpredictable economy, it can be downright impossible to make your income stretch in order to cover it all without some help. Yes, let us not forget that some do wind up in debt by their own poor choices and failure to plan. But, it’s never too late to change the road you’re on.

So, if you’re financially secure, let me challenge you. Instead of telling the debtors in your life that they have no common sense and that money management is (eye-roll) easy, try to remember that you probably don’t know all of the financial challenges they are facing. Try to help, offer support, encouragement, and accountability to anyone trying to make their life better.

If you are struggling financially, please know that your money management skills are indeed something that you can always improve. Don’t be afraid to ask for help and don’t be too ashamed to seek it.

Common sense doesn’t always translate to managing dollars and cents.

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Ludivine is Open and the Operation is Lookin’ Fine…Plus, Big Truck Tacos Saves the Day

Last night my hubby and I decided to go enjoy the festivities of Ludivine’s maiden voyage, their first night with doors open to the public.  Here’s the sunset I enjoyed on the drive from work…

7:35 p.m., prairie view approximately 10 miles west of Meridian, OK

When I got to the house, Mick was dressed and ready to go.  He looked up the address one final time (805 N. Hudson) while I brushed my teeth and sprayed on perfume.  When we pulled up to the restaurant it was already dark, and most of the parallel spaces along the street were taken.  “Good,” I thought.  “A nice crowd even though it’s after 8:00 p.m.”  Here are a couple shots from the street view…

As we entered the restaurant, I noticed the staff were busy, friendly and everyone seemed to have at least two tasks on which they were focusing.  The front-end manager greeted us and told us that there was approximately an hour wait.  I looked around the house and saw every table full but one.  She offered to have us wait in their “great bar” but I knew what our answer would be.  Mick gets up at 4:00 a.m. and staying out this late was already a stretch.  She suggested coming early to lessen the wait; they open at 5:00 p.m.  I agreed, told her we would be back and we prepared to go somewhere else.  I wasn’t discouraged at all – in fact I was happy that their opening night provided them with a full house.

Before I left, I took a few shots of the dining, kitchen and bar areas – and one of the table general manager Tracey Leird was setting for their next guests.  I commented on their flowers and she mentioned that they, too, were grown in Oklahoma.  “Perfect,” I thought.

So, we headed down the road and pulled into another place near to our heart: Big Truck Tacos.  I cannot get enough of their ceviche.

I’m glad Ludivine had a good first night.  I’m glad I learned when to show up in order to get a table more quickly, and I’m glad that another strong business model has found it’s way to the heart of Oklahoma City.  Oh…I’m ALSO glad Big Truck Tacos is there to make our tummies happy! – Red Dirt Kelly

(A few shots of Big Truck Tacos in case you’ve not yet graced their establishment.  And if you’ve not…get on down there!)

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Hubby, Me & The Pioneer Woman: Our Sordid 24 Hour Triangle Issue

Five weeks ago, I passed a friend of mine in the hall.  I treasure this friend because she’s one of those laid back, Oklahoma women who looks you square in the eye when talking with you.  She rolls with the punches, she has an air of confidence and she gets cooler every year I know her.  She greeted me: “Hey, I’ve enjoyed reading your blog!  Who knows…you could be another Pioneer Woman!”

CLICK PHOTO TO VISIT THE PIONEER WOMAN BLOG

First of all, my friend just got even cooler because she had right then and there provided tangible evidence that someone other than my family members were reading our posts.  And second of all, who was the Pioneer Woman?  Two more weeks passed before I thought, “Oh yeah…I need to check out this Pioneer Woman blog.”  Or, should I have thought, “Sensation!?”  As soon as I pulled up her site late one evening I became hooked for so many reasons.  First, the Okie Factor was major.  Second, the context about which she wrote reminded me of multiple reasons I loved Oklahoma country life.  Her photography was wonderful, her food looked sinful, her children were darling, her husband was hunky and the sunsets across her pond were even redder than those I see when driving home.  Within an hour, The Pioneer Woman had wrapped her blog around my heart.

Before I closed out the site I noticed she had written a autobiographical series entitled “From Black Heels to Tractor Wheels (BHTW),” about her decision to ditch law school and marry an Oklahoma cattle rancher.  I didn’t even start those posts; I needed sleep.  Flash forward a few more weeks…

Earlier today I introduced you to my new love, the iPad.  Last night I began the BHTW series and seriously tested the battery, streaming/loading and sheer determination capacity of my new technological wonder.  I began the series at 7:45 p.m. and finished at 1:38 a.m.  I took a few breaks along the way.  At one point I cooked myself the worst dinner I’ve made in several years…but that’s a different story.  And, at several points during the evening my husband came into the living room and began talking to me.  He told me a story about his day, he asked me a few questions about something, and came in to tell me goodnight.

At no time during any of these interactions did my brain engage what he was saying.  I was thinking in my head, “Look intently into his eyes, nod and hurry him along so I can get back to the next entry in my beloved BHTW series.”  The Pioneer Woman was tightly wedged between me and my husband.  I was putting my relationship with her stories above him, and was so hooked I couldn’t even see it…I was in way too deep.  I just wanted answers to all the questions I had about “What might happen next!??” to the Pioneer Woman and her Marlboro Man.

6:04 a.m. was an unwelcome time for me this morning.  The alarm on my cell phone did its job and I took way to long to find the cancel button.  I usually get up early and blog if it’s my day to contribute.  “Tuesdays – TwosDays – Relationships…” I thought.  Meh.  I got ready for work,  ignored the post writing (read: avoided the relationships section by writing about my new iPad), had a few meetings, and took a very late lunch.  The first thing I did was call my husband:  “Hey there, I’d like to go out to dinner tonight.  Ludivine is opening and I want to eat their food.”

After he came to grips with the fact that he probably could NOT wear his khaki shorts and a sweatshirt, he agreed.  “I’ll call Rylee and tell her we’re going on a date.  And that she needs to manage dinner on her own,” he told me as he hung up.

I love my husband.  The Pioneer Woman was no longer between us.  She was somewhere in the room, but Mick and I were back to our interdependent state once again, standing side by side.  “P-Dub” (Pioneer Woman reference for herself) is no longer causing distance between us, or deafness and blindness on my part.

Okay, now for the serious stuff.  Triangles are tricky and very powerful dynamics.  They basically exist when something comes between, or diverts, a healthy relationship between two people.  The “third party” can be a person (any person – young or old), a thing…oh, say…like a blog, a substance being abused (drugs, alcohol, pornography, gambling, eating, etc.) or even something that might normally seem healthy – like a work out regimen.  If you can see three elements in your relationship, and in general two of them are close, two of them are distant, and two of them are conflicted, then you’re probably in a triangle.

This is my triangle I drew just for you. Don't you love my squiggly "conflict" lines?!

So my thought for you today is to examine the close relationships in your life and see if there’s extra baggage in your important dyads (two person relationships) that needs to be trimmed.  If you find some, take that baggage and put it where it belongs.  We keep real luggage on the top shelf of our closet.  I put my marital baggage back at this address where it belongs: @   http://thepioneerwoman.com/

and…I’ll visit when I can.  But if Mick asks me a question, I’ll put my new iPad screen on blank and really listen.  He deserves it, and I’m pretty sure P-Dub wouldn’t want it any other way.

Good luck!

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Showcasing Red Dirt culture ~ authored and managed by contributors with connections to the great state of Oklahoma.