Category Archives: Every Point on the Map

Every Point on the Map, Oklahoma culture

EPTOM: Schoolton, OK (Letter to Robert)

March 24, 2015 Red Dirt Kelly

Dear Robert,

When we parked in your driveway, the first thing I noticed was a medium-sized cluster of tomato plants growing under an eastern window. The gardner in me instinctively checked out the ripeness of your harvest, and wondered what breed you were growing.

The second thing I noticed was a Duck Dynasty poster attached to the siding outside your home, as if you were making a statement to those who visited. I never asked you about it, but after speaking with you for more than an hour, I’ll bet a story exists we just didn’t get around to discussing.

The third thing I noticed wasn’t about the environment in which you lived; it was about you. Your willingness to sit and talk with us for a while was gracious, and the patience you provided us as we set up our equipment, jerry-rigged with hair bands, cotton balls, and no tripod for Rachel’s large format camera, was humbling.

We were both embarrassed for having set out on a two-day journey with essential elements left behind in Oklahoma City. Your easy spirit buffered our anxiety; it was you who helped along our work, not us.

From that point forward, I don’t recall sequential memories of our stop at your Schoolton home. I remember pockets of information I’m now writing because our microphone wasn’t plugged in all the way.

Our time with you, and the fact that we don’t have audio documenting our conversation, is probably the deepest regret I have of our Every Point work to date. So, I’m going to do my best to share with those who read these words, insights about who you are and why we appreciated our time with you so much:

Robert, I admire you deeply. You raised your sister’s six children because she was in jail. Then, you raised your daughter’s two children due to her cycle of jail and rehabilitation. You take them on camping trips, manage a blow up swimming pool for them during the hot summer months, and have friends who will watch them for you during your trips to the doctor or other errands.

You hold up your Creek Nation heritage with honor in so many ways. From sharing their newspaper and Creek Language CD with us, to the stories you shared about your land, your home built by your people, and the funerals. You even attended an Indian school in far northeast Oklahoma.

All the information you shared with me was new. I didn’t know your tribe provided $250 for food when a member died. I didn’t know that funeral times with families last for a few days, or that gifts like blankets are given to the family.

I didn’t know that you could have your own family cemetery on the land where you lived – and how beautiful, to walk out your front door each day, to be able to glance over at your wife’s and other family members’ headstones on your two-acre patch of earth.

Your perseverance in so many areas of your life struck me deeply. In 1979 you were in a car accident that gave you a serious knee injury, and took you to the Muscogee hospital year after year. Providence must have had His hand on you, because during your appointment when the doctor was to give you the news that you would be undergoing an amputation, your knee began to heal.

Your humor was good medicine for Rachel and I. Thank you for the story that she posted on our Instagram account about the local sheriff:

"Robert lives on res land in Schoolton and is Turtle clan of the Creek Nation. One of the few times he chuckled while he was speaking with us was when telling a story about how only Lighthorsemen can come on his land and he had a stand off with a local Sheriff who would park his car across the street and wanted to give him some random traffic ticket, and Robert would just sit on his porch and wave, knowing the sheriff 'couldn't do sh*%.' It was hilarious."

I’m glad your friend Tiny is so close, and so honest, and so funny. It was great seeing you two interact with each other. I loved it when Tiny said, “Oh yeah, we talk all the time. We just sit out here and solve everyone’s problem’s but our own…just like two heifers!” It was fun to see you laugh at Tiny’s jokes. And, I love it that Tiny willingly watches your grandchildren if need be.

I really struggled when you answered a question in a way I didn’t expect. I asked what you had hope for, or had learned along the way….and you paused, thought for a moment, and then said, “I don’t know…I just feel…bored.”

I wondered if that was your way of telling me to you have lived your life raising the children of the women in your family, and that you’ve not ever really done something completely for you. I don’t know what you meant by that, but I feel like I want to go back to your house and hear the rest of what you didn’t say. And if you couldn’t come up with an answer, maybe your friend Tiny could tell us.

Robert, I want to tell you that you might feel “bored” sometimes, but you are FAR from boring. You have a cool braid, cool glasses, and a beautiful Water Bird tattoo on your arm. You take time for your grandchildren and I can tell you really care about them. You are great to sit and talk with on a Saturday morning, and share cool stories about the Creeks.

And, you put up with us.

That’s it, Robert. That’s all I can remember because I didn’t write too many notes that day. I thought we had all our discussion on video when we headed down the road to our next stop. But instead, we have you in our minds, and our hearts, and we hope you are doing well.

All my best,

Kelly

Every Point on the Map, Oklahoma culture

EPOTM: Crescent, OK (Parallel Processes)

March 18, 2015 Red Dirt Kelly 7 Comments

Kay Whitfield’s neatly shaped white hair shone against her bright blue eyes, pink shirt and Oklahoma-weathered skin. Rocking casually in the light streaming through her sunroom’s windows, she shared stories about her life, her family, and her passions.

A calm energy served as the foundation for her resolved personality. Kay was someone who has taken stock in what the world has to offer, and staked her claim in the Crescent, Oklahoma earth at a spot where balance, ideals, hard work and hope intersect. Where reflections about her husband bring tender descriptions of his patience with children, and where reflections of her teaching days bring tearful descriptions about “touching the future,” now that she’s retired.

In many ways, Kay embodies what I imagine a case study on “core traits of Oklahoma women” might reveal: problem solvers, resilient, and determined.

Shortly after her first husband completed his time in the Oklahoma legislature, “the war came” (a divorce) and rather than resigning herself to a life of scrapping together what she could muster financially, she fulfilled a two-year teaching contract for the U.S. Department of Defense (DOD) in Germany. Returning to Oklahoma so her youngest son could complete his senior year at his hometown high school, Kay was ready to restart her teaching career locally. And ready to begin her “post-war” life in Crescent once again.

She finished a “war” by spending time working for the DOD.

This was the first in many parallel processes I noticed in our discussion with Kay. Indeed, she even has strikingly similar physical characteristics to her mom who had just died that year, even though she describes her personality as much closer to her father’s.

A photo of Kay’s mother, chosen by family members, exudes an outdoor and adventurous spirit.

The home we were visiting had originally been a hotel built during Crescent’s boomtown days. Kay had purchased it at an auction for $10,000 dollars and restored it to a beauty that reflected not only the original aesthetic, but in many ways reflected the owner. The walls were simple, the furniture period-appropriate but comfortable, the art on the wall reflecting various artists perspectives.

_DSC0127 — The Whitfield home on the day we visited.

Similarly, her son had returned to Crescent after a career-changing journey brought him home, and he ended up purchasing a building in downtown Crescent for $4,000. He and his family restored that building, and now he serves as mayor of the town.

See what I mean?

She told tales of her mother’s family, crossing the Arbuckle Mountains in a wagon where they were traveling to the next paying job their father could find. As a child, her mother chalked the horse-drawn wagon wheels with stones so it wouldn’t roll down the inclined earth where they rested. I thought about Kay, shoring up the structure of her home, piece by piece, room by room, so it wouldn’t “decline” as she progressed in her own life.

Kay lives in a historical building, now her home for many years, and taught history at Crescent public schools. She currently partners with the local museum, gathering historical facts about their area to assist with documents they produce. She taught history, lives history, and supports historical documentation.

Kay married a former University of Oklahoma wrestler, and I thought about how pieces of her life she shared resembled wrestling matches: decisions along her way, or with plans to set forth the best historical trip for students and parents…and eventually family members.

On a wall in her front dining room, another artist had drawn the old home from her own perspective. This artist was Kay’s granddaughter, Taryn.

As Kay talked about her plans to save photography or needlework for the times in her life when she can’t move around quite so freely, I thought about Taryn’s interpretation of her grandmother in the artwork above. She had drawn Kay looking out the front door of her home with a smile on her face saying, “Hi!”

Perspective from Kay's front room, looking our her front door. — Perspective from Kay’s front room, looking our her front door.

I have no doubt that someone in Kay’s family, quite possibly Taryn, will continue the Oklahoma history Kay’s mother and her own family started so long ago. Someday, that might be Taryn in the doorway, drawn by her own granddaughter.

However their story turns out, one thing is clear. Families like Kay’s are made better because members like her honor the full experience of their own histories. And, because she takes care of her stories, her home, and her family, she is – without any doubt whatsoever – fulfilling her own hope of “touching the future.”

Showcasing Red Dirt culture ~ authored and managed by contributors with connections to the great state of Oklahoma.