Category Archives: Man Cave

Man Cave

Sports Nightmares: The Anti-Bucket List

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Everyone has a bucket list.  You know, that list of stuff you want to do before your time is up.  For sports fans, the bucket list consists of far-fetched wishes like visiting every major league baseball stadium, attending all four tennis grand slams, or buying tickets to game seven of the Stanley Cup Finals.  Many fans enjoy immersing themselves in the excitement of the game, which is why they love tuning in to 스포츠중계. The perfect sports getaway is a possibility that exists in our dreams but usually not in our bank accounts.  You’ll often hear fans say “Wouldn’t it be awesome if…?”  They speak as if there’s some sort of magical sports genie who will one day grant all their wishes to see the biggest games and meet the biggest stars.

What isn’t talked about, are sports nightmares.  That’s right; those are the events you would never want to see.  They are the games you would consider a form of pure torture to have to sit through.  Maybe the sports genie turns out to be evil and you are subjected to some of the worst moments a fan could ever experience.  You would rather spend an entire day at the mall shopping with your wife, than be granted free tickets to any of these events.  You would volunteer to attend a wedding on a college football Saturday before you’d volunteer to watch even a minute of these competitions.

So here they are, ten of the most painful, and mind-numbingly brutal events a sports fan could ever be forced to witness.

Turn in your man card…now. (courtesy news.xinhuanet.com)

1.      Men’s Figure Skating

I know these fellas can do some amazing tricks on ice, but as a dude, it’s never okay to put on spandex and glitter and be happy about it.  Start competing in regular clothes and maybe you’ll earn a shred of my respect, although even a pair of khakis or a designer suit can’t make up for all the prancing and jazz hands.   It’s embarrassing to watch a grown man wearing six pounds of makeup and a flesh colored leotard.  I don’t know how people watch this without squirming at the utter absurdity of the whole sport.  The only thing more humiliating than participating in men’s figure skating is admitting that you watch men’s figure skating.   This has to be the reason why people first started putting two TV’s in their home.

2. Cheerleading Competition Continue reading Sports Nightmares: The Anti-Bucket List →

Man Cave, Music Scene

Music From The Man Cave – Introduction and “Gamma”

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"Gamma" photo from the Davey Pattison Gallery: http://www.daveypattison.com/gallery/index7.html

Several months ago I was cooking breakfast for the kids.  It was a weekday morning before school and my wife was getting ready for work.  Kind of an oddity, I suppose, around our house (my wife is a chef) but on weekdays it is either me or my son who cooks breakfast.  I suppose we cook out of necessity since one of us is usually dressed and ready before the girls make it downstairs.

Anyway, I decided to have a little breakfast cooking music and put on my vinyl copy of Thin Lizzy’s “Live and Dangerous.”  One of the finest “live” albums ever released.

Yes, I know it has studio overdubs.  I don’t care.

Soon after, my wife came downstairs, looked at me, smiled and proclaimed, “You’re such a guy.”  Reflecting on that moment gave me an idea: Music from the Man Cave.  Recommendations by a guy for other guys.  Not that girls can’t listen too….

First up (we’ll get to Thin Lizzy soon, I promise) is a blast from my past.  I acquired a cassette copy of the second album from a band called Gamma, featuring Ronnie Montrose on guitar, Davey Pattison on vocals, Denny Carmassi on drums, Glen Letsch on bass and Jim Alcivar on keyboards.  This cassette spent a lot of time in my Walkman knockoff and I rediscovered it a couple years back.  It has a terrific remake of Thunderclap Newman’s “Something In The Air” but the song that I really want to recommend is called “Voyager”.  You can buy it for .99 on iTunes, or check out the YouTube clip at the bottom of this post.

“Voyager” is an amazing song Robin Trower is still kicking himself for not writing. Continue reading Music From The Man Cave – Introduction and “Gamma” →

Man Cave

N.U.T. #2 – I don’t text or email while driving.

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Oh man have I been guilty of this one in the past, but I’ve decided to turn over a new leaf.

Several studies have attempted to compare the dangers of texting while driving with driving under the influence. One such study was conducted by Car and Driver magazine in June 2009. The study used two drivers in real cars and messured reaction-times to the onset of a light on the windshield. The study compared the reaction times and distances of the subjects while reading a text message, replying to the text message, and impaired with alcohol. The study showed that at 35 mph, reading a text message decreased the reaction time the most, 0.12 seconds for the first driver and 0.87 seconds for the second. Impaired driving at the same speed resulted in an increase of 0.01 and 0.07 seconds respectively. In terms of stopping distances for a driver going 70 mph, these times were estimated to mean:

Unimpaired: .54 seconds to brake
Legally drunk: add 4 feet
Reading e-mail: add 36 feet
Sending a text: add 70 feet

I would never get behind the wheel of a car while intoxicated, and yet, every time I read or send a text message or email while driving, I’m actually a lot more dangerous behind the wheel than if I was legally drunk. This paradox just doesn’t fly with me anymore. I’ve got to stop. Continue reading N.U.T. #2 – I don’t text or email while driving. →

Barbershop Theology, Man Cave

Barbershop Theology, Pt. 4: “The Nose Knows”

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Do you smell that?  I can.

There are certain types of floor polish that smell just like my old elementary school in Apache, Oklahoma.  On rare occasions I will walk into a building to the perfect combinations of soaps, cleaners and mop bucket — boom! Ahhhhh, there it is—the long hallway that takes me down to Mrs. Alexander’s fourth grade classroom. A thousand images flood my mind when I get a certain whiff of my youth.

I’m surprised we could smell anything at all back in the sixties. Everybody smoked. Part of my job as the barber shop shoe shine boy was emptying ash trays. Let’s just say, I emptied them a lot. These days I nearly gag whenever anyone within a quarter-mile lights up a cigarette.

I can smell my memories.   I think that’s why I’m always looking for a barber shop that smells right.  If I walked into something like Spring-Fresh-Potpourri I would turn around and leave. Surely there’s a man law about this: There shall be no potpourri in a barber shop. So what makes a barber shop smell right?  Jeris Hair Tonic, Butch Wax and clipper oil—these contribute basic components to real barber shop smell.

On Fridays, several customers would make their way in from the Sale Barn where cattle had been auctioned. The Angus, Herefords and multi-various bulls, cows and calves were fond of leaving green souvenirs which the men’s boots would inevitably pick up. The barber shop took on even more character when the farmers and ranchers came to town. Smells good don’t it?

Don’t ask me why I love some of the aromas of my youth so much. My best answer will be nostalgia, sentimentality, or perhaps a coping mechanism which works to suppress my neurosis.  Saddle soap, leather dye and cowboys boots dipped in a cow lot—man if somebody would bottle that I’d wear it as cologne! Continue reading Barbershop Theology, Pt. 4: “The Nose Knows” →

Man Cave

The Inexact Science of Finding A Coach

The coaching carousel is at full tilt this time of year.  The sports world is a vicious cycle of hirings and firings.  Now, the college basketball carousel is spinning fastest, but soon the NBA will pick up speed, followed by the NHL, college football, the NFL, and round and round we go.

At this very moment there are high profile basketball vacancies at Oklahoma, Missouri, Tennessee, Georgia Tech, and Utah just to name a few.  Athletic Directors are faced with the delicate task of finding not just a good coach, but a coach who is the right fit within the program and within the university.  Choosing a coach wisely means wins, money, fan support, national prestige, and more TV time.  Making a poor choice means losses, fans in retreat, revenues in the red, and the possibility of setting the program back for years to come.  Not to mention how bad it makes the Athletic Director look when the guy he hired turns out to be a bust.

The process of finding the right man for the job is at best, an inexact science.  There is no secret formula, no perfect path to follow when on the hunt for someone who is going to become not only a head coach, but a very well compensated representative of your university.  So many factors can go into a coaching search, but here are the very basics when narrowing down that long list of possibilities.

Even with Pearl gone, Tennessee may continue to suffer the consequences of his actions. (courtesy marioncountymessenger.com)

1.     CHARACTER AND INTEGRITY

Some might say winning is the most important thing and even trumps character.  However, the “win at all costs” mentality can be great for a while, but in the long run it can have devastating effects on a program.  Schools can overcome a couple of down years, but it takes much longer to overcome the public relations disaster brought on by a coach involved in a legal, sexual, or recruiting scandal.  Even if a coach avoids the police, the courtroom, and manages to keep himself out of incriminating Facebook photos, he can still take down a program by violating NCAA rules.  Just ask Indiana.  The once prolific Hoosiers aren’t competitive thanks to Kelvin Sampson’s NCAA transgressions.  Even though Tennessee fired Bruce Pearl, the Vols could be facing serious consequences thanks to Pearl’s lies and poor judgment.  Look at all the instances in the past where the coach had to deal with adversity.  How did he handle players who violated team policy?  Did he stick to his principles or did he lower his own standards in the name of winning?  Listen Athletic Directors of America, save yourself the embarrassment later by doing your research now.  Look at a coach’s past, examine his family life, check and triple check references, and make sure you have all the details on any and all run-ins with the NCAA.   Know what kind of man you’re getting from the very beginning and you limit the chances of an unpleasant surprise down the road.

Continue reading The Inexact Science of Finding A Coach →

Man Cave

N.U.T. # 1 – I am faithful to my wife.

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This one was at the top of the list of examples I provided in my intro to this post and I have chosen to put it first on my list because of how important I think it is.

Obviously being faithful to my wife means not getting involved romantically with any other woman, but it means so much more than that. It means being faithful to her with my heart and mind as well as my body. It means not staring at other women. It means not flirting with other women. It means not thinking about other women. It means not putting myself into situations where there might even be an appearance of unfaithfulness. It means not looking at pornography. It means not betraying her confidence to other people. It means always taking her side when other people are involved. It means always sticking up for her and watching out for her best interests. And it means doing all of these things and so much more NO MATTER WHAT.

In many ways, this N.U.T. doesn’t have anything to do with my wife at all. Sure it affects her, but my being faithful to my wife is really about me. It’s about who I am as a man and the content of my character. It’s about me placing a high premium on the value of fidelity.

I’m confident that a lot (not all, but a lot) of the problems in our world today could be greatly minimized (if not eradicated entirely) if men would simply honor their commitments to be faithful to their wives. Think of how many divorces, broken homes, and kids growing up without a dad could be prevented if men everywhere made this one of their non-negotiable, unalterable terms.

***

To read more about N.U.T.s from Michael, please visit:

Introduction / N.U.T. #2

Man Cave, Oklahoma culture

In Search of a Name for the “Man-Bun”

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Yep, there it is in all its glory. My "Man-Bun" in need of a decent descriptor.

There really aren’t too many of us these days: long-haired freaky looking guys. Especially those of us who aren’t that freaky.  We grow up, get respectable jobs or just loose our follicles.  Society eventually molds us to its will.

Or does it?

A funny thing happened on my way to respectability.  I found out I just wasn’t that corporate.  And I decided that in honor of my brothers who no longer can, if I can grow my hair, I should.

So here I am once again in familiar territory; the end of the dreaded in-between stage where you can’t pull all your hair into a ponytail so most of the time it looks like a mop in a light socket.  “Push through,” I tell myself.  “Wear a hat.”  Oh yes, that doesn’t work either; my hair makes it slide up my head.  “Push through.”

Continue reading In Search of a Name for the “Man-Bun” →

Man Cave

The Coolest Desk Ever [OR] “I Am Weak”

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by Zac Logdson

A Guest Blogger Post for our MAN CAVE Section

Editor’s Note ~ This post is being reprinted with permission from the author.  Information about his company and other projects can be found at the end of the post. Thanks, Red Dirt Kelly

***

As you may recall from a little more than a week ago, I sold my office desk without really any clue as to what I was gonna do to replace it.  But after about an hour working from a tiny spare desk we had lying around, that barely held my 30” monitor, I decided I needed to act fast.

My goal was to buy or build a custom desk made from something that wasn’t intended to be a desk.  And I wanted it to represent ME a lot better than the old one did.  I wanted people to walk in my office and have my desk be so mind-blowingly awesome that they’d have to turn away to shield themselves from the glory of it all.  I wanted my desk to send people into seizures.  I wanted it to cause children to weep and old people to wet themselves.  I wanted my desk to be both loved unconditionally by all who saw it AND feared by those who heard folk tales about it.  So I built that desk… and in the process, I became an extremely weak individual.

Back Story

A few years ago, I read somewhere (no idea where) that having pictures of your family on your desk was a sign of weakness.  I don’t know who made that claim or where that perception originated but whoever put that in print is a tool.  I can see where it might be accurate but do I really want to do business with anyone that thinks I’m weak just because I have a picture of my family on my desk?  That said, I think that concept always kinda stuck with me.  On my old desk, I had various photos of my family on the area behind me, plus drawings and notes on my bulletin board from my kids.  But like I said, they were behind me.  Definitely not the focus of my office.  So I decided to change that.

Building the Perfect Desk/Becoming Weak: Step 1 – Concept

There’s an architect in the basement of our building that had some really old (maybe a hundred years) wooden windows he was storing in a nearby shed.  I asked about them to see if he’d be willing to sell them. Continue reading The Coolest Desk Ever [OR] “I Am Weak” →

Man Cave

What are your N.U.T.s?

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A lot of the blogs I read have written recently about the need for men to have a firm grasp on their non-negotiable, unalterable terms or as Wayne Levine (the man who coined the term) calls them, our N.U.T.s.

To quote Levine:

To be the man, father, husband or leader you want to be, you must develop and maintain a firm grasp of your N.U.T.s

N.U.T.s – non-negotiable, unalterable terms—are the things that define you as a man. They’re what a man is committed to. And when these N.U.T.s are compromised, men become angry, unhappy, frustrated, depressed. They would rather blame others than take responsibility for their own actions. They’ll play the victim as they take out their negative feelings on those they love. They’re also the guys who will try to drown their sorrows in alcohol, drugs, porn, and a slew of other equally destructive behaviors.

I’ve borrowed a list of a few examples of N.U.T.s from Levine’s website and have listed them below:

* I am faithful to my wife.
* Compassion for my family trumps my need to be right.
* I am a risk taker.
* I do what I believe is in the best interest of my children, even if they disagree.
* I do not ask for permission.
* I do not indulge my addictions.
* I take my problems to men, not to women.
* I do whatever it takes to keep my family in our home.
* I honor my daily spiritual practice.
* I do not sell out who I am to please others.

Although I suspect I have an unspoken list of N.U.T.s, I don’t think I’ve ever actually voiced many of them to myself or anyone else. In the coming weeks, I’m going to spend some time thinking about my non-negotiable unalterable terms and will be posting them here on the RDC as a permanent reminder to myself of those things that I will hold to no matter what. Some of mine will be fairly similar to the ones above and some will be quite different. Either way, I’m looking forward to the process of considering, defining, and listing my own N.U.T.s.

What are your N.U.T.s?

Man Cave

Does Capel Deserve More Time?

Could Jeff Capel's tenure at Oklahoma be over? (courtesy thespread.com)

Jeff Capel is a good basketball coach.

“Good” will cut it in just about any profession, just not Capel’s. Good coaches get fired every season and some in this state believe now is the time for a change in leadership of the Oklahoma program.

Capel’s detractors have a case. The Sooners finished the season last night with a 20-point loss to Texas and an overall record of 14-18. For the first time in 46 years, OU has posted back to back losing seasons.
Capel’s squad will also miss the NCAA tournament for a second consecutive year. The Sooners haven’t been left out of the dance two years in a row since 1994.

There was a brutal string of nine straight losses at the end of last season. At one point this year, OU dropped eight in a row and wound up losing nine of its last eleven.

Can Capel win without Blake Griffin? So far, the answer seems to be no. (courtesy sportige.com)

The Sooners have fallen close to the cellar in the Big 12 conference. Only Iowa State finished lower than OU in the standings, and ten of the Sooners conference losses were by a margin of ten points or more. It isn’t just that Capel’s team was losing, it’s that his team wasn’t even consistently competitive. It looks worse for OU when you look at recent history against the top teams in the conference. The Sooners have now dropped four in a row to Texas, four in a row to Texas A&M, and six straight to Kansas.

Critics also love to point out Capel’s recruiting history. Willie Warren, Tommy Mason-Griffin, and Tiny Gallon were all McDonald’s All-Americans and were supposed to be the next wave of Sooner superstars. They were going to pick up the slack after the departure of Blake Griffin, and continue to keep the program in a position of prominence. Warren played two seasons and bolted to the NBA. Mason-Griffin skipped town after only a year and was quoted in the Houston Chronicle saying, “School work was just not in my comfort zone.”  Gallon also left Norman after his freshman season amidst allegations that he and his mother received $3,000 from a financial adviser. OU assistant coach Oronde Taliaferro was rumored to be connected to the adviser and the NCAA launched an investigation into Taliaferro’s actions.

Continue reading Does Capel Deserve More Time? →

Man Cave

Real Men and Fear

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I’m afraid…

I’m afraid my daughter might grow up not realizing how much I treasure her. I’m afraid my wife might not know how much I really love her. I’m afraid I will get to the end of my life and realize that I’ve wasted many of my days chasing things that don’t matter. I’m afraid of insignificance. I’m afraid of not being awesome at everything I attempt. I’m afraid of people who would do me and my family harm with no concern whatsoever to the consequence of their actions. I’m afraid of the consequences of some of my actions. I’m afraid of getting passed over and left behind. I’m afraid my life doesn’t matter and my contributions aren’t significant. I’m afraid of getting cancer and dying before I’ve lived the life I always imagined for myself. I’m afraid of knives and guns. I’m afraid of not being liked. I’m afraid of snakes and poisonous spiders and velociraptors… yeah I went there. You would too if you happened to be a child the first time you saw Jurassic Park… those terrible bird-like buggers are some nasty creatures.

I’m afraid of all those things and more, but I don’t let fear paralyze me.

A real man knows that he’ll always have fear. No matter what he does or who he is, there will always be some things that cause him fear. And he’s OK with that because a real man knows how to experience his fear.

He doesn’t shy away from fear. In fact, he doesn’t even try to resist it. He wants to experience the feeling of his fear fully. He acknowledges the presence of fear and seeks to understand its cause. He knows that fear, much like happiness or anger or any other fleeting emotion is just that… a fleeting emotion.

A real man stares fear right in the face, tries to understand it for what it truly is, and then he acts. Continue reading Real Men and Fear →

Man Cave

Want To Be A Coach? No You Don’t.

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Scott Brooks' job only looks glamorous, there's many more moments full of frustration. (courtesy aolnews.com, nba/getty images)

The coach is always an easy target.  If your team looks bad, the knee-jerk reaction is always to blame the coach.  If players aren’t living up to their potential, must be the coach’s fault.  If there’s a key breakdown at a crucial moment in the game, the coach is clearly an idiot.  If your team’s fortunes don’t turn around immediately, this coach must not be the right man for the job.  If your kid isn’t getting enough playing time, the coach must have no idea what he’s doing.

Professional and collegiate coaches get paid big bucks, and I’m sure many of you would trade places with them in a heartbeat.  Not me.  No thank you.  I’m not sure the paycheck is worth the constant pressure, scrutiny, hatred, name-calling and second-guessing that coaches put up with from fans, players, and media.  Even if you can handle it, what about the toll it takes on your family?  Every day, your kids get to hear about why you stink at your job.   Entire websites are created just to promote and encourage your firing.  Your demise is almost imminent from the moment you take the job, because there is no sympathy, no grace, and zero tolerance in the what-have-you-done-for-me-lately world of sports.  These days, owners fire coaches like it’s a bodily function.

Let’s say you’ve got thick skin, and can get past all the material pointing out every reason why you’re an imbecile.  Good for you.  Now all you’ve got to do is take a group of men, women, or children and turn them into winners.  Do that by managing several different personalities, varying backgrounds, an assortment of skill levels, and a dizzying array of attitudes.  You have to know who to coddle and who to criticize.  Who gets treated tenderly and who gets a dose of tough love?  Make sure you earn your players respect, but don’t be too hard on them.  Keep things fun and entertaining, but not too fun, because then you’ll lose that respect.  Keep players happy with minutes and playing time, and you better know how to massage the ego of your stars and high draft picks.  And if you happen to be a high school coach, good luck explaining to parents why Timmy didn’t make varsity.  That’s a fun conversation.

Continue reading Want To Be A Coach? No You Don’t. →

Man Cave

MacGyver Was A Real Man

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First of all, the the fact that MacGyver was a fictional television character, which therefore clearly gives great irony to the title of this blog post, is not lost on me.

If you were not a fan, a quick perusal of the show’s Wikipedia page will tell you that MacGyver was a secret government agent who:

A) Preferred non-violent resolution to fighting where possible.
B) Often refused to carry a gun.
C) Was educated as a scientist with a background as a bomb team technician in Vietnam. (really who isn’t these days?)
D) Was laid back, intelligent, resourceful, and optimistic.

Oh yeah… I forgot letter E.

E) He could also solve just about any problem known to man, short of disarming an atomic bomb, with everyday readily available materials and his ever present duct tape and Swiss Army knife. On second thought, I think he might have actually disarmed an atomic bomb at some point during season three.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what made MacGyver a real man. Sure his anti-violence approach was laudable. But hey, I know a lot of dudes who aren’t violent who also aren’t very manly.

Now MacGyver on the other hand… give that guy a pine tree air freshener, a tube sock, a paper clip, a ballpoint pen, a rubber band, tweezers, nasal spray, and perhaps a turkey baster or two and he was virtually unstoppable.

MacGyver was a real man if there ever was one because he knew how to improvise.

Which brings me to the topic my post today. Last night my lovely and talented wife decided she wanted to return something she bought on the internet. We still had the box and all of the shipping material so she called the company to find out how to go about returning it.

After a few minutes on hold and the joy that is Burt Bacharach hold music, the customer service rep answers and tells her that she’s called just in time. They have a 30 day return policy and today is day 30 so the guy schedules her a FedEx pickup for this morning and tells her to put the pre-addressed return label that came with the package on the box and leave it on our porch first thing in the morning.

Simple enough, right? Continue reading MacGyver Was A Real Man →

Man Cave, Oklahoma culture

Deconstructing My “White” Christian Self, Part 3

It’s been February.

Black History month.

For thirty plus years that didn’t mean much to me.

But now with two black children from Ethiopia, I have come to care deeply about this month.

It’s an opportunity for me to lean in and listen to those who have suffered from America’s original sin of racism.

For the last three years during Black History month, I’ve been reading through Bearing the Cross by David Garrow, a Pulitzer award winning bio-epic of Dr. King and the history of the Civil Rights movement.

This book has been like a hammer in terms of deconstructing my “white” Christian self…and theology.

Truth, I’m learning, is largely situated.

All of us absorb like moons the cultures we live in.

There is an inevitable cultural transference.

From those over us like parents and pastors.

To those around us like our peers and pop culture icons.

Not to mention the places we inhabit.

Like our churches and schools and neighborhoods.

Growing up in an evangelical, middle class, suburban culture, for example, I certainly absorbed a particular worldview.  Those who passed it onto me did so with a genuine desire to see me respond to the call of discipleship.

I am so thankful for this.

But having said that, I never had a Dr. King speak into my life early on. Continue reading Deconstructing My “White” Christian Self, Part 3 →

Man Cave

Call Me Commish

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Acting as Commissioner of a professional sports league cannot be an easy job.  It requires business savvy, knowledge of the law, negotiating skills, and the ability to wade through piles of criticism while maintaining a tough, confident appearance.  Most of the job responsibilities aren’t glamorous, and the hours are long.  Commissioners are rarely praised and often vilified.  For the most part, I think the four Commissioners, David Stern (NBA), Roger Goodell (NFL), Bud Selig (MLB), and Gary Bettman (NHL), do a pretty decent job.  But every fan wonders what it would be like to be in charge.  We’d all love to take the ownership reigns of our favorite team for a week, but how does one attempt to change an entire league?  Well, like this for starters.

NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION

Is anyone else tired of talking about the same players and the same teams over and over? (courtesy bumpshack.com)

The first thing I’d address as NBA Commissioner is what I like to call the “redundancy factor.”  The league’s biggest problem is that 75 percent of its teams are almost irrelevant.  This is a league that revolves around seven or eight franchises at the most.  The conversation, the media, and the telecasts, focus on these so-called elite teams like the Lakers, Celtics, Spurs, Mavericks, Heat, and Magic.  The rest of the league is barely worth talking about and that has to change.  The gap between the “haves” and “have-nots” has to close for the NBA to become an all-around better product, because when only a few teams have an actual shot to win a title before the season even starts, then why is the regular season interesting?  Where’s the drama?  Right now, we’re all just biding our time until the playoffs start.  In my mind, the best way to solve this problem is contraction.  I know it’s a dirty word, but it’s time.  Too many small market teams (Milwaukee, Utah, Sacramento) acquire star players only to see them bolt in a couple years for one of the big cities.  The teams that can hold onto stars are eventually forced to trade them away because the players have too much power (i.e. Carmelo Anthony and Deron Williams).  Getting rid of six teams would help bring the league back into a better competitive balance.  Talent wouldn’t be spread so thin, and increased parity is the result.  In other words, a more interesting, compelling NBA than what we have right now.  It gives me no pleasure to do it, but I’m taking the ax to these teams:

Continue reading Call Me Commish →

Man Cave, Relationships

When I Am An Old Man (Serious Version)

Last month, I wrote a list of things I will do when I’m an old man. Most, if not all of them were pretty tongue and cheek. However, as I was writing it, I kept thinking of more serious things that I wanted to be doing when I’m an old man. And that’s what this list is all about.

Without any further ado, when I’m an old man:

  • I will still buy flowers for my wife and take her on dates. Just doing my part to keep the lovin’ alive. If I outlive her, I will take flowers to her grave on a regular basis.
  • I will rise with the fish before the birds. I will watch the former and catch the latter. Go ahead… just try to analyze that one. I dare ya.
  • I will give away lots of money. I have no idea what “lots of money” will mean for me when I’m an old man, but I’d love to be giving away at least half of whatever annual income I have at the time. If I have any wealth to speak of, I hope to also leave it all to charity. Sorry Iz… hopefully by the time you’re in your 50’s you won’t need your dad’s inheritance.
  • I will mentor younger men. If you’ve known me for any period of time, you’ve probably figured out by now how much I value mentoring. Most of my experience with mentoring so far in life has been on the receiving end. I hope to some day be on the giving end. Continue reading When I Am An Old Man (Serious Version) →
    • Man Cave

    A Fan’s Manifesto – Winning Cures All

    Al Davis' motto is all this fan is asking of his teams (courtesy footballnewsnow.com)

    Just win baby.

    The famous motto of Oakland Raiders’ owner Al Davis is somewhat ironic considering the Raiders do everything but win.  However, those three little words perfectly describe how almost every American sports fan feels about his or her team.

    I am a fan just like you and frankly, I’m sick and tired of the expectations that are placed on me.  I don’t need to hear another coach, player, owner, executive, or media member call me out for not being supportive.  Here’s how this works: You (the team) create a successful product, and then I show up.  I’m not going to show up if there’s nothing in it for me.  Selfish?  You betcha.  Wrong?  Nope.

    There’s no way athletic directors Joe Castiglione and Mike Holder enjoy seeing thousands of empty seats at Lloyd Noble and Gallagher-Iba, but the fan is the last person I’m going to blame for those arenas looking no better than junior high gyms.  Nobody is expecting Oklahoma to turn into a basketball crazed state anytime soon.  That being said, I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the Sooners and Cowboys to make the NCAA tournament four out of every five seasons.  These are schools with a decent amount of basketball tradition.  They are big-time universities with big bucks coming from big boosters trying to get into a tournament that’s anything but exclusive.  If Jeff Capel and Travis Ford can’t give me something to look forward to, then why should I pay through the nose to watch a team hoping to sneak into the NIT?

    Good economy or down economy, fan dollars are stretched thin.  If I have to pick and choose carefully, why am I going to pick a loser?  Some claim the Thunder is taking dollars away from the college basketball teams in this state.  I think that’s right, but it’s not because of over saturation in the market.  One team is on the rise and sells out; the other teams flounder around .500 and hear crickets during home games.  Fans will go see a winning product, period.

    Continue reading A Fan’s Manifesto – Winning Cures All →

    Man Cave

    Rules for Dating My Daughter

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    While my wife was pregnant with our little girl last summer, I spent a lot of time thinking about certain things I wanted for her in life and continue to do so today, now that she’s almost five months old. And as the father of any little girl will tell you, one of the things a dad thinks about from the very earliest days of his daughter’s precious existence is who will some day replace him as the number one male in her life. While it would suit me just fine if  my daughter was single all of her life (sort of “the Mother Teresa” approach) I realize it’s more likely than not that a young man will come along and want to date her Last summer, with these things in mind, I composed the following 15 rules (technically they’re more like principles) that any young man would be wise to heed if he wishes to pursue courtship and romantic involvement with my daughter.

    People who are having difficulty meeting people to date may click here.

    1. You must read this blog in it’s entirety. Not only is it full of wisdom, but what better way to a young woman’s heart than through the mind of her father?

    2. Your automobile must be brand new and equipped with the latest safety features. Driver, passenger, side, and curtain airbags must come standard on your car. Dynamic traction control is a plus, as are roll bars, reinforced steel door pillars, anti-lock breaks, and crumple zones. When you come to pick her up for your first date, please bring a copy of either the Car and Driver or Motor Trends safety report for your trusty rubber-footed steed. I will read it while we sit and wait on my daughter to finish getting ready. If I have questions, I will ask you. Do not speak until you are spoken to.

    3. My daughter is always to be returned in better condition than when you picked her up. I call this the return policy. Violate it and I will charge you a steep re-stocking fee.

    Continue reading Rules for Dating My Daughter →

    Man Cave

    Embrace Winter With Odd Snow Sports

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    It’s still hard to believe when I look out my window.  Oklahoma has been completely dumped on by the full force of Winter’s wrath.  I feel like I’m back living in Canada minus the snow plows, sand trucks, knowledgeable drivers, and overall preparedness by society to continuing functioning.

    Your kids have been out of school and on the Xbox so long, they’re losing brain cells faster than you can shovel the white stuff off your driveway.  Maybe you feel trapped and helpless.  Maybe you’re going stir-crazy and watching the Price Is Right got old after day three.  Warmer temperatures are on the way, but in the meantime here are few ways (some are even legal) you can rid yourself of the boredom and embrace what remains of winter.

    These are sports, er…activities.  Some can be enjoyed here at home, others might suit you if you’re really, really, really, into winter…and sharks.

    1. Skitching

    This is kind of like sledding, only illegal.  Skitching is the art of being towed by a car while on skis, a snowboard, a saucer, or even boots with no tread.  Almost any neighborhood or side street is the ideal venue.  The great part about skitching is how many options you have.  If you don’t have rope, just grab onto the bumper.  You’ll inhale a good amount of exhaust and run the risk of sliding under the vehicle, but I never said skitching was without risks.  A length of rope or chain gets you out of the exhaust fumes, but it can also set you up to be whipped around a corner into a telephone pole.  If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: pay attention while skitching.  Any sudden braking by the driver can lead to the most common skitching injury known as face-on-tailgate.  Choose your skitching method wisely and keep a healthy supply of band-aids close at hand.

    Continue reading Embrace Winter With Odd Snow Sports →

    Man Cave

    Real Men and Bouldering

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    Last weekend, I went bouldering at Joshua Tree National Park. If you are unfamiliar with what exactly bouldering entails, let me enlighten you.

    Bouldering, by definition is “a style of rock climbing undertaken without a rope and normally limited to very short climbs. It is typically practiced on large natural boulders or artificial boulders in gyms and outdoor urban areas. However, it may also be practiced at the base of larger rock faces.” Thank you Wikipedia for that one.

    In the simplest of terms, bouldering is basically just walking around, up, down, over, and under a bunch of big rocks. Rocks like these:

    Continue reading Real Men and Bouldering →