This is NOT my daughter's cake topper choice, but just an illustration of the whimsy involved recently in fun wedding choices. Click photo if you want to purchase this one.
Lamar is taking a break, so I have prepared a short thought for our Simple Sabbath post this morning. I sat down at my computer and the first thing I noticed on my desktop was two images; items my eldest daughter had picked out for her upcoming wedding. One is the cake topper. People don’t just use plastic molded standing brides and grooms for cake toppers any more. And the other is a little “accent” for the wedding – to be used at just the right time. I love it.
They are both secrets so I’ll just have to leave them here on my computer until they can be revealed during their wedding day. But thoughts about the wedding led to other thoughts…musings about life events.
Christmas will be here soon, my eldest daughter is deeply involved in planning for her upcoming wedding in March, we’re picking up a new “family member” today (a six week old Alaskan Malamute puppy), my younger daughter will be finishing her hair stylist program this summer and a friend of mine died last week. Births (I know, I’m using a puppy birth and the Christmas season for my example…), graduations, weddings and funerals. I’m 47 years old and I’ve been sitting through or experiencing all these occasions literally since my own birth in one way or another.
Last week, I wrote a post beginning my answer to a common question I receive in my academic or therapeutic role. That question is, “What book would you recommend for couples experiencing (enter any category) issue?” or, “I’m going to buy a good book for (x) couple, what do you recommend?” I decided to break the answer down into the top five “couples issues” areas I hear about most frequently, and first begin by addressing the “core three.” I named these as: parenting, financial struggles, and sex/intimacy. In my first post, I covered book recommendations and some discussion over parenting and finances. Today I’m going to talk about sex and intimacy issues, and then move into topic number four: developing yourselves as individuals within a marriage or relationship.
Sex or Intimacy Issues
To begin, let me just say that couples all seem to have their own strength areas within their relationship. I’ve spent a good amount of time with some couples who excel at sex and/or intimacy together, but have multiple challenges in other areas. However, I’ve seen just the opposite as well. Some couples I know are excellent at parenting as a team, managing their finances as a team, and seem to otherwise (at least from those on the outside) have a strong and capable relationship. But when it comes to intimacy (sharing vulnerabilities and deep-felt support) or sex, some of the seemingly greatest “power couples” run into problems. A lot of problems.
Many of these intimacy and sex related problems have to do with trust, or strong patterns developed from their own families of origin. I’ll cover these problems in the last entry. Some challenges, however, are simply a matter of thinking, learning, growing or communicating, becoming comfortable with each other and asking for (and meeting) needs. And many are simply the result of leading overscheduled lives in a stressful environment.
I spent eight years of my professional life on staff at the Oklahoma Christian Schools (OCS) High School and administrative offices. A good part of my energy went into building a drama department from scratch, but part of that time was also spent as the lead Freshman sponsor and the Freshman Bible Teacher.
The Bible Department, from an outside view, represented quite a diversity of theological perspectives: I was raised in an independent Christian church context, our Sophomore Bible teacher (David Thomas) was more of the charismatic persuasion having attended ORU for his education, our Junior Bible Teacher (Dan Anthony) was a Church of Christ cowboy, and our Senior Bible Teacher and Department Head (Ted Hough) had his master’s degrees both in Literature and in Divinity. Sometimes it seemed to me that Ted’s perspective was to teach the Word of God with the finesse of only that which a liberal arts major could do. His devotions were pure art.
But today I want to talk about David Thomas, our Sophomore Bible teacher. David went to meet his Maker on the evening of December 4th, 2010 after a decade-long battle with a brain tumor. I loved his spirit and his heart and am dedicating this post to he and his family. I’m going to write only briefly about his personality, his preaching and his prayer. However, I promise you – volumes could be written…along the lines of how John honored Jesus when he said,
25 Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.
One of the things Red Dirt Kelly LOVES is finding talent, photos, literature, or other media with anything in their name related to Oklahoma. Above is the OK Chorale (sometimes performing as a single quartet) from New Zealand. She’s never heard the “12 Days of Christmas” like this, and guesses you may not have either. Enjoy!
Kelly M. Roberts, MS, LMFT - Clinical Instructor, Oklahoma State University
Friends, colleagues and sometimes people I don’t even know very well ask me this same question several times each year, AND I provide them with a baffled face and stammering answer every single time: “Hey, what book do you recommend for __(enter any couples issue)__ ? I’m thinking about buying a few books today.” OR …“I have a friend who is looking for a book.” OR,… “I want to recommend a book, can you help me?”
I struggle with two main issues when asked this question. First, I have no idea what the person or couple has already read. And secondly, people apply books and personal growth in such unique ways that sometimes what I think is a great read or extremely applicable might fall flat with another person. Or sometimes that flips and what I think isn’t necessarily sound or grounded information is the “key” to helping someone get out of a rut.
Therefore, understanding that you may have already read some (or all) of these books, and, that you may not get out of them what I or some of my clients have gotten, I’ve put together a list of the top five challengesI see couples face on a regular basis and books that might help in direct or indirect ways. However, I’ve also provided a bit of discussion to go along with the books so I’ll be breaking this post into two or three parts. Here we go…
To begin, I want to address the core “top three” basic challenges most couples will experience at some time in their life: opposing views on parenting, financial struggles, and sex/intimacy. In that order:
This past summer I left my beloved state and visited a foreign land. The primary purpose was to take courses with a group of students from the University of Oklahoma School of Law in Oxford. However, I combined other parts of the trip with my regular marital policy work at OSU, and took a few days vacation to visit distant relatives I had never met. The trip was one of the best experiences of my life and greatly nurtured the Explorer within me. I’ve been working on cleaning up all the photograph links that somehow deteriorated during our move to the new site. During this process, I decided to put this guidepost up so if anyone would ever like to revisit the journey through my “40 Days in the UK,” they could do it all from one location.
About one week before Thanksgiving, I spent some time with Oklahoma City University President Robert H. Henry. The Henry family has deep roots in Oklahoma and his résumé in particular is as long as the Chisolm Trail. That interview will be shared later in the weeks to come, but today we have an appetizer of sorts. I noticed when we were talking that he had a love for gardening and cooking, and wondered out loud what he might “cook up” if he were to go home that evening and find a perfect made (or grown) in Oklahoma meal on his dinner table. Here is his answer but I’m providing it with a caveat – do not read ahead if you are hungry. You might be left with no choice but to leave what you are doing and seek out sustenance:
“If I could have anything I wanted, I would have tomatoes from my garden with smoked salt…Chardonnay Oak smoked salt, on a bed of fresh basil leaves with some sliced avocado and some vermouth or late harvest Riesling wine vinegar, and a little fresh ground pepper. And olive oil…that would be the salad.
If I wanted to have a soup, I would have Ratatouille made from eggplant, zucchini, peppers…and again, some basil and really good olive oil. [And] some grated Parmesan cheese.
For the main course I would have new potatoes, oven roasted with rosemary from the garden…and garlic. Then I would have, probably a brined bone-in chicken breast that was charcoal-grilled. And, for dessert I would have…I would have it be June, so I could have Oklahoma strawberries with either crème glacée, or a real homemade shortcake that looks like a biscuit; warm, with butter, piled high with strawberries and real whipped cream.
That would be it. In a younger day, I would have substituted really great fried chicken…maybe from Juniors, or from my own kitchen cooked in a real frying pan and, and double fried. Once ‘till it’s slightly golden, then cooled and then fried again. Real French frying is frying twice…[and I would add] some pan gravy with that. My age and my lowered metabolism causes me to go with the grilled chicken.”
This November 12 edition of the Heavener Ledger ("Gateway to the Mountains" - serving Heavener and LeFlore County since 1904) is but one example of the challenges Oklahoma faces re: poor bridges and roads. For more information on what looks to be possible improvement in our state's situation, click this photo to visit a NewsOK article recently published.
In 1978, I evidently decorated a cake in honor of my Grandpa Yate’s 80th birthday. This was taken the summer after my 8th grade year, so I had not yet been through the cake decorating curriculum in my Home Economics classes! However, because I just love hay, (not convinced? look here… or here!...OR HERE!) and because it’s RDC’s Half-Birthday Week, and because my dad e-mailed me this photo yesterday afternoon and I thought it was funny, and because it’s clear that even in 8th grade I liked corny jokes scribed into history by icing-in-a-tube, and because who can ever get enough reminders of Charlie’s Angel’s hairstyles?, I just thought I’d use an entire post to say:
“Meet Joe Black (1998)” was a movie about the Angel of Death and his earthly dialogue with a wealthy media mogul during his last days. In the film, the wealthy man acts as a guide to Death who, in the form of a young man, falls in love with the man’s beautiful daughter. Called by some as a “minimalist masterpiece,” you need patience and focus to get all the movie has to offer.
Here’s one thing I got from the film, and a subsequent clip on T.V. sometime after it was released: During a particular scene, Joe Black and “Jamaican Woman” (as noted in the script) are having a conversation about life. She waxes deeply philosophical in her discourse. At one point she says to him in some sort of summary thesis,
…But the truth is, it bound to happen if you stay long enough. So take that nice picture you got in your head home with you, but don’t be fooled. We lonely here mostly too. If we lucky, maybe, we got some nice pictures to take with us.
Later in an interview, Brad Pitt who played the Joe Black character reflected on that line. He said, in paraphrased form, “She’s right, ya know…life goes by and every once in a while we get a few snapshots to take with us. Perfect pictures we hold on to.”
I remember the interview like it was yesterday because of the look on Pitt’s face when he was talking. I don’t know what he was thinking about at the time, or why he chose that particular quote to talk about, but I thought about it last week out of the blue. I wondered if our RDC team would get to capture a “perfect picture” somewhere along their Thanksgiving holiday time as they were together with family or friends.
It’s been six months since I began my “Red Dirt Kelly” blog that very quickly turned into what you now know as the “Red Dirt Chronicles (RDC).” Here are Julie, Jen and her team at the Consumer Credit Counseling office, plus Kendy and I in a “home movie” wishing the RDC a happy six-month birthday.
We are thankful for your participation in our project as readers, thinkers, commenters and encouragers…and we hope you’ll join us in wishing the RDC another great six months, with many birthdays to come!
I just watched this video after having put it together in the middle of the night and realized I was tired…because, it was the middle of the night! Glad Julie, Kendy and Jen’s group had energy to spare. Hey, guys…can I borrow some of that!? Maybe for our one-year birthday I can talk some of our man-authors into actually getting in front of a camera! Have a fun and safe “Black Friday” out there. Let us know if you bagged a bargain…or five!
[kelly]
P.S. The music in the background of this video is “The Crow” by Steve Martin and the Steep Canyon Rangers. I grew up on Steve Martin’s humor in high school and have appreciated the more developed “Banjo Period” of his artistic life. Thanks for the birthday song, you wild and crazy guy! One more thing – we’ve got some extra special posts coming up for you next week to celebrate our half-birthday. Enjoy!
As some of you now know, I have a complicated relationship with my “Saddlebags.” They seem happy to stick around, and I want them gone. After mustering all my courage to visit the Wellness Center last week, I had to come to terms with the fact that: a) I actually committed to at least twelve one-hour training sessions; and, b) they started this morning.
True to the friendly-no-matter-how-you-slice it persona of the place, I was met with no less than three “good mornings” as I reluctantly entered the Center. Oh, and one, “Good morning, Kelly,” from Joanna who just happened to be getting to work the same time I arrived for my session. I think she secretly staked out the parking lot and entered along with me just to make sure I didn’t turn around and run away. Effective. Verrrry effective, those tactics they employ!
I descended the stairs into the basement level workout room area thinking, “I’m not going to be able to walk back up these stairs when I’m done.” I probably had about twenty more doomsday messages ready to tell myself as I neared the door, but once again, the attendant at the desk distracted me from my fear-based mantras. “Hi,” he said. “Are you here for a session?”
I stared at him for at least two or three seconds thinking, “I could just say no. I could just say, ‘Oh – nah. Just looking around.'” I opened my mouth to answer him, still uncertain of what would come out when a young man with an air of confidence, exuding Physical Fitness walked up and interjected, “Are you Kelly?”
Photographer's one week old colt, taken April, 2010 - Fittstown, OK (south of Ada). To visit "Brown Photography" blog, click the photo.
Looks like this little girl's parents will be up for more face painting this year as the OSU Cowboy football team continues their winning streak. Click photo to visit the OSUPics site.
Here’s Mick in his “other-centered” mode, helping me clean out my summer garden.
The scene: Our little home on Harding Place, eleven years ago. My muscles were so sore from moving scenery for our Spring musical dress rehearsal I could hardly get out of the car. I had just pulled into the driveway, bringing the girls home from school. So intense were my body aches that I asked the girls to manage dinner. They were 8 and 12 years old; this was an unprecedented request of them and they looked at me like I had suddenly turned into an alien being.
“Uh, okay…” Rachel said, and she turned to Rylee. “Let’s have macaroni and cheese!”
“I love macaroni and cheese!” Rylee responded. And they headed toward the kitchen while I walked into my bedroom. I sighed, took off my shoes, laid down on the bed and waited for Mick to get home. I had tunnel vision from exhaustion and was concentrating very hard on our bedroom window. “Get home. Please…hurry and get here.” I needed an intense rub-down with Icy Hot, some ibuprofen and a nap. I looked at my watch while I listened to the girls in the kitchen. I prayed that there wouldn’t be some sort of accident with the boiling water, and closed my eyes.
A few minutes later I heard the truck pull into our driveway. I was completely immersed in self-centered thought as I counted the seconds until he opened the front door. I heard him come in, say something to the girls and hear their report of, “Mom needs to talk to you.” I saw Mick’s shadow on the wall as he walked into the bedroom, but I didn’t turn around to face him. Instead I said, “Can you please go get the Icy Hot and work on my back and shoulders? They’re killing me; I need some help.”
When he returned to begin his task I closed my eyes and winced. It takes a while until muscles are worked enough to where they can relax and respond to the treatment. Somewhere in-between “excruciating” and “sore,” I noticed Mick’s hands and arms were shaking. Surprised, I asked him about it. He said, “Well, we had to move three aisles of inventory in the warehouse today, all by hand. I worked almost three hours overtime in order to finish the job, and I’m really tired.”
Another thing to consider is the availability of storage options that are both flexible and secure, allowing you to store items confidently. If you need to explore this further, https://www.surreystoragesolutions.co.uk/our-locations/croydon-self-storage offers an excellent service in the Croydon area.
I began to cry. I asked him to stop, and to lay down beside me. I said, “Let’s rest a while together. By the time we’ve got a little energy back, the girls will have dinner ready.” I had been so focused on my own needs I hadn’t even assessed where my husband was. Our universes had intersected with mutually difficult and physically taxing days that had put both of us over our ability-to-manage threshold. Yet he was willing to help ease my pain without even disclosing what he had just experienced.
A few years later I was reading a book called, “Constructing the Sexual Crucible: An Integration of Sexual and Marital Therapy,” by David M. Schnarch. As I turned through the pages, I thought back to that time when Mick’s arms were shaking from fatigue. Although written about providing therapy for clients with sexual problems, the premise of the book was that a couple is initially immature and “unspiritual” in their relationship, but at some point grows mature and “spiritual;” they pass into a vulnerable and ‘other centered’ relationship that becomes so deep a mystery is revealed – the mystery of what it means to be intimate with one another, cognitively, emotionally and spiritually.
He quotes Sebastian Moore (1985) frequently when talking about this shift into a deeper intimacy. I love the passage so much that I’m going to end this post with Moore’s words. All the best to you as you find those moments of self-exposure, interdependence, hope and spirituality with those you love…~ Red Dirt Kelly
***
…Desire reveals its true nature when it comes into the moment of decision, either for the new initiate of self-exposure that makes possible interdependence, or for the cowardice that overshadows our society. Love is ‘desire, decided for.’ (emphasis added)
…Desire is most nearly itself when, asserting my own goodness which is its source, I pass from dependence to interdependence whose soul is hope. Then is desire most itself, so then am I most drawn – no longer by the obvious charm of another, but by the mystery that brings us together enlarging that desire into hope. (Moore, 1985, p. 30)
Moore, S. (1985). Let this mind be in you: The quest for identity through Oedipus to Christ. New York: Harper & Row.
Old farmer. Freddy from Utah - click photo to visit photographer's Flickr site.
It’s about doing something that feels dead to you because it makes the other person feel more alive than anything else. It’s about considering the “other” around you and relegating the “self” of you. It’s about reaching outside of yourself and touching a dimension of those around you in a way that is personal, intentional and gives them an electric current through their soul.
These thoughts and more comprise the thesis of Gary Smalley’s “Five Love Languages” book, now assimilated into many cultures and families across the U.S. If you haven’t read the book, you might consider doing it soon. The read is quick, the outline is clear, and there may be those around you that would begin benefiting immediately from your greater understanding of who they are – and how they operate.
To review briefly for those who are not familiar with the work, “Love Languages” are ways to understand the process of yourself and others, and why communications or interactions are (or are not) meaningful. These processes were identified by Smalley as: acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, physical touch, and words of affirmation. They must ring true for a great percentage of the population because his “Love Languages” workshops are still filling up across the country. In fact, I ran into people who were familiar with his book while in the UK this past summer.
So, why cover a topic when it’s so familiar?
The other day I was walking across the parking lot of a supermarket. I noticed an older woman being steered into the store by a caregiver. The caregiver could have been a family member, but I’m not sure. It seemed that every interaction between these two people was one of discomfort, misunderstanding, and ended up an impasse. At one point, the older woman said, “Why isn’t it okay that I don’t want a pumpkin? I would just like to enjoy a year where I don’t have to throw away something that just sat there.” The caregiver said, “You’ve always had pumpkins – every year. Let’s just get one, okay?”
Resigned, the older woman put it in her basket, looked around the room helplessly, found my eyes watching the scene, and looked away.
As I pushed my cart down the aisle, picking up groceries here and there, I began to think about my older family members. I wondered how their styles of communication or their needs were being met (or not) by our younger family members. Later that night, I was transcribing some of my grandmother’s memoirs and came across a letter from her father she had copied verbatim. I recalled that my grandmother was also a “writing” person, that she touched many lives by her loyal letter writing over the years.
Then my brain hopped a train down the “Love Languages” track. I began to think about each one of my older family members and wondered if I could identify their “language.” Hmm.
My mother – My parents aren’t really “old,” but they are elders in our family. Mom always brings sacks with things in it, every time she sees us. Perhaps she’s a “receiving gifts” person and gives them because she likes to get them?
My father – He seems to be a “quality time” person. I know he takes friends to lunch, he meets with people for regular breakfasts or get together times to discuss books and politics – that’s how he conveys that he cares.
My Grandma Yates – I think she was a “physical touch” person. She used to always grab grandchildren, pull them toward her, kiss them with a loud smack and give another hug just for good measure.
My Grandpa Yates – I think he was an “acts of service” person. He measured people by what they did, not what they said. And he appreciated what they did. I don’t know if I have enough memories to really identify his love language, but my best guess is service-oriented.
My Grandpa Frank –I wonder if he was a “words of affirmation” person. He used to show us things, then look at us expectantly, waiting for our response. Our job was to say, “Wow – that’s really neat.” Or, “That was a good find, Grandpa.” I think he liked to hear encouragement.
My Grandmother Emma Lee – I wonder if hers is quality time? I know she appreciates it when we come to see her. But I also know she writes many letters. Perhaps the letter writing is a way of giving time, of connecting.
I think I’ve covered enough of my family members to make a point. One of the points I just made with myself is that I don’t know for sure my own family’s love languages; especially the elders in my family who I may just not have considered before.
Do you? My encouragement for you this week is to observe carefully. However it is that the elders in your life engage you may very well be how you could best meet their needs. I can tell right now that I’m going to have to do a bit more investigation. But at least now I am thinking about it.
If you know the love languages of your elders, write a comment and let us know. I’m interested in what you’ve observed of the elders in your life.
Matt Duckworth, drummer for Star Death and White Dwarfs, backstage perspective. Star Death is setting off for another tour this week. Photo printed with permission from Matt.Oh, it's just deer season in Oklahoma. Red Dirt Kelly grabbed her camera, rolled down her window, drove with her left hand and took the shot with her right hand. Shouldn't these trucks come with some kind of warning sign for passers by? "Warning, dead deer in truck. Those with queasy stomachs, please keep your eyes averted. Thank you."And, speaking of shooting...100 years ago today, The Daily Oklahoman published a front page article about a county election Chairman declaring that he will NOT resign from his position. Further, he would shoot anyone who crosses the threshold of their office and threatens the sovereignty of the "sacred ballots." He proclaimed, "I have the keys to the boxes in which they are deposited and by the eternal gods I will protect them with my life." Red Dirt Kelly says, "Go, Judge Beall!"And speaking of "Beale" (not Beall), little "Jesse" (Katie Beth) Beal makes a great Toy Story character for Halloween. Red Dirt Kelly saw no less than six "Jesses" this year, and all of them were great. Lookin' good, Katie Beth!The Goddard School in Edmond gets creative with a bale of hay. When I walked around to the other side, there was a Jack-o-Lantern face painted on it. One bale of hay, TWO seasonal displays 🙂 Photo by Kelly.Antique oil cans (jars) from a long-ago service station. Just one of the many sites to see at "The Stables Cafe" in Guthrie, Oklahoma. - Photo by Kelly
Poteau Ballon Festival, held Oct 22-23, 2010. Click photo to visit their website.
We hear the food at Poteau Balloon Fest is amazing. Mmmm, I can smell the fire, can you? - Click photo to visit the Balloon Fest website.
A few months ago I asked my grandmother whether or not she would be willing to sit down with me, allowing me to conduct interviews with her about her life. She surprised me by saying she had already written down many of her memories; her son had asked her to do that some time ago. Weeks later, I saw her at a family dinner and she had a yellow Spiral Mead notebook with her. On the cover written in ink was, “1988, The Life of Emma Lee Coward Bomgardner, Bennett – Tuttle, Oklahoma.” She told me she had to look a little while for it, but had found her work.
I took the notebook and let her know I would transcribe what she had written, clean it up a bit, then send it to her for review. The goal was to then send it out to the family.
Last night I began the task of reading her handwritten notes. I was surprised at how much information was there and appreciated that her narrative echoed her true voice. Not many periods, quite a few commas, and no erasing…just, freestyle.
This job is going to take quite a bit of time, but I’ve already decided the rewards will be much greater than the investment. She began writing at age sixty-six. Her first memory penned was how her mother took her and her siblings to visit their grandparent’s home. She said they had to cross a bridge in order to reach their destination and the horse balked at the idea of making the pass. She recalls being terribly frightened as her mother wrestled with managing the horse, eventually coaxing him across the bridge.
I know that adrenaline helps embed memories, and from reading through these pages I can see how and why she might have recalled and written the stories she did. I’m about fifteen percent through the transcription, but today after reading the struggles manifested by the Great Depression…I’m very grateful for what we have.
We are certainly a blessed nation and a blessed family. May God continue to richly bless you and yours.
~Red Dirt Kelly
**1/16/11 Note: “One Voice of the Oklahoma Prairie: My Grandmother’s Memoirs” is now being published. Check THIS LINK to see the posts each week until they’re finished.
Norman-based Old Hat (OH) Creative is a sports ad agency. Their mission is to tell the stories of their clients, and tell them well. And if you visit their OH website, you could probably park your hiney in a chair for the next few hours because they’ve created enough cool content to keep anyone entertained for a good long while.
But there is a difference when you see their story in person.
If you review their website, you get the impression of energy, humor, sharp and creative individuals who take their work very seriously. Okay – maybe there are similarities between the online and in-person story.
If you review their website you get the impression that the team is cohesive, that they really care about their clients, their craft, about learning and growing…and about performing together as a well-oiled and evolving system, willing to take risks and think without boundaries. Okay, this is getting silly…those messages are clear when you visit them in person as well.
Damn, their website is pretty good at telling their story!
Tracie Hitz and Walter Colindres pose with Lil' Duey, the Old Hat Creative mascot. Visit Duey's webiste page for more on this travels, arch enemies and lifestyle.
So what can we add for you this morning? Perhaps a third dimension of warmth, of genuine regard for each other as a team. And of the dichotomy between a screaming football stadium of fans where their ads may be running on the big screen compared to the pristine quiet when you walk into their office – all their professionals working on iMacs with headphones on, completely focused on their task at hand.
I spoke to Tracie Hitz, their Director of Business Development, this week and she talked about why she moved from Illinois to Oklahoma in order to join OH. She said that the Chicago area is filled with ad agencies, and a sub-group of sports ad agencies…that it’s a fast paced and challenging life, and fits the image of what you might hope to have working in their industry. At the same time, however, she related that working for the Northwestern University athletic department was – in a sense – an established system with very little room for creative influence in terms of their mission or direction. They already were how they were going to be.
When Tracie moved here, she got two things. The ability to contribute and influence the way OH was developing – she said that founder Zac Logsdon listens to her ideas, considers them and frequently she’ll see them implemented. And, she got “settled down,” a sense of stability and permanence of community. When I listened to her “two things,” I thought… “Well, that’s Oklahoma. Creative and homey.” But it’s certainly OH as well.
Old Hat's "living room," AKA their reception area.
And perhaps that’s the thing we can tell you about when wrapping up our shout out this morning. When you walk into the OH “living room,” it feels comfortable. When you talk with their staff, they are friendly and inviting…and funny. And when you think about their website information as a whole, you get the sense that the team is a family.
I spoke to a Norman resident Wednesday night and mentioned I had visited OH and he perked up, “Yeah, they’re making waves around town!”
“Good waves?” I asked, “What kind of waves?”
“They’re well-respected, over-achievers…a really good thing,” he replied.
So, maybe that’s the rest of the story. A creative family of overachieving professionals who make good waves in their community….but you can get that from their website too. And their Twitter account. And their Facebook page.
And…you can get the chance to win a ‘Lil Duey T-Shirt and an OH hat just by Tweeting this article (see icon below), or visiting the new RDC Twitter account and mentioning us. Just Tweet a message and “@RDChronicles” today, and we’ll enter you in the drawing…and contact you tomorrow if you won.
Here’s to you, Old Hat – we’re “tipping our RDC hat” to you and yours. All the best!
***
Editor’s Note: I was a high school drama teacher for eight years. OH Founder, Zac Logsdon, was one of my former students. He and his wife Jill played the leads (mother and father) in our first off-site play, “Cheaper by the Dozen.” It’s interesting that now it seems they are sort of the mother and father of a dozen or so children at OH, all of whom are very special people...warms my heart to see them doing what they’re doing.
The pop machine. An integral part of the OH living room.Win this hat and t-shirt...Tweet this essay or mention @RDChronicles on your Twitter account!
(For “Hitting Bottom – Saddlebags First Entry, go here.) I took it as a good omen. I pulled up to the Oklahoma State University Seretean Wellness Center and standing majestically next to the entrance were trees just bursting with fall color.
I took it as a good omen because I was looking for anything to hold on to, and fall foliage would do just as well as…oh, say…the parking meter I was fumbling with. I was on my way to an appointment I had set with the coordinator of personal training. I already feared this woman and I had never even met her.
As I neared the entrance, I glanced at the wall, paused and then stopped to read:
Okay, fine. Rub it in. Use deep words, philosophically crafted to reach down into my literature loving soul and say to me things that I didn’t want to hear because they were so perfect. Ugh. Wow. Deep breath. Okay. I pulled open the door and went in.
Kip, the student attendant at the front desk, was nice, made a joke and continued to make this horrible visit as pleasant as possible. “What is wrong with you people!?” I thought. “I’m trying to be sullen and all scared here, okay?” I didn’t even have time to sit in the waiting area and get anxious. Within two minutes, Joanna was bounding up the stairs with a smile on her face as well. “Don’t look her in the eye,” I continued to tell myself. “This experience has to be bad because I’ve built it up to be – – do NOT submit to her powers.”
Everything after that moment was a blur. Joanna started asking me what my goals were, what barriers were in my life preventing me from achieving these goals, and writing what I said down. “Stop it – don’t write it down!”…I continued my panicked thinking, “If you write it down then it will be real!” She looked at me and smiled again. [Cripes! Smiles everywhere!] Some external force took over my body and made me answer her questions, made me fill out a form and sign a membership, and made me commit to twelve sessions – to be completed at least twice per week. “…And we’ll reassess your goals then…to see if you’re ready to crank it up another level to three sessions per week. You really need to exercise intensely for 150 minutes per week if you want to burn calories and get in shape….”
150 minutes per week-week-week-week-week. The words were echoing in my head like someone had played around with a sound system in the building intercom system.
I don’t even know what that means. I was looking at her but I was thinking, “Maybe if I run really fast she won’t catch me. Even in these high-heeled boots, I’ll bet I could give her a good run for the money.” Then I looked at her. She was petite, in great physical shape, was wearing one of those stop-clock watches and had a determined set to her jaw. I think her jaw was more determined than mine. I gave in…right there in my head I knew she was living what she was talking about and I needed to listen to her.
“Okay,” I replied. “I guess I’m ready to go ahead and set up my schedule. And, oh – hey, I’m writing about this experience on my blog. Would you mind if I took your picture?”
A very brief but real look of surprise and possible fear crossed her face. “A blog? Um, what kind of blog? Is it – is it local?” She hadn’t agreed to the photo yet, and all of a sudden there was a slight change in that determined jaw.
I relaxed. She was human…just like me. “Well, it’s just a group of friends and we write about different things around Oklahoma and about Red Dirt country. I wrote an entry about how I needed to get in shape and I’m going to be following up with my progress – – how things go. I’m kind of scared about it.” Then, she relaxed.
She and Kip posed, the camera flashed, and I walked out the door.
Joanna and Kip. Nice people at the Wellness Center.
I had no idea a little tiny Canon camera could be that powerful. And, I start next Tuesday morning.
I looked at the trees as I walked out, re-read the quote on the wall, and smiled. “Okay, this is going to be horrible. And, I guess I’m okay with that,” I said to myself. Then me and my saddlebags walked back to my car and drove back to work.
