#36 of 52 : WAYNE

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Imagine:
The phone rang. Rang again. I looked at Billy, waiting for him to make a move. Nothing. I reached across the length of both our desks, “Mid West City PD.”

“PREVERT! Get this prevert outta here!” a woman screamed furiously on the other end.

“Ma’m, calm down. Please tell me the situation.”

“I wanna this prevert outta my house. Now.”

“Do you mean pervert, ma’m?”

“No, he hasn’t done it yet,” she yelled back.

The best way to start a Sunday at 8 a.m., if I do say so myself. 40 years on the force and this may have been one of the best calls I ever did get

I s’pose these are the thoughts 76 years will bring you.

I also s’pose these are the thoughts that will come to you when memories are a bit more precious. Time is a bit more precious.

Not because of being old.

Nope. I’m talking ’bout because of the attack.

Attack of the Mole People.

The rumbling started weeks before it all happened. People started calling in, reports were being made of the ground shaking. We wrote it off as earthquakes, ‘cuz that’s not all too unusual for Oklahoma. But then the reports started coming in more than we could check them out.

The TV started running stories about the entire country shakin’. I knew this wasn’t no earthquake. And no one was saying much about what it really was, just all speculation.

Ever since I was little I’ve always wanted to be a cop. My uncle got me a cowboy hat when I was 5 and my head burst outta the sides before I ever took it off. At 25 I entered the force. 40 years I spent writing tickets and protecting Mid West City. Mainly from drugs. I retired at 65 but I still stick around the station. Mostly out of boredom. My daughters say it’s because I miss people. Not that any of this matters, there’s Mole People taking over, this very minute.

It was 4 p.m. last Friday when the phones started ringing off the hook. The shaking wasn’t just in a neighborhood, it was everywhere.

Then the TV folk started saying the words that still give me the heeby-geebs. “MOLE PEOPLE” were coming up from the ground. Mole People? I still don’t know why that was the first thing they called ’em. They don’t look anything like what I’d imagine Mole People would look like. Quite frankly they look like mountain-sized hillbillies. Monsters, I guess is what you’d characterize them as. I guess ‘cuz they came outta the ground and they walk upright is why they got dubbed Mole People.

These Mole People aren’t too friendly. It’s been 48 hours since they made began making their grand entrance. Stompin’ around and squishing people. Let ’em try and kill us off. I guess I didn’t quite imagine we’d go out like this. It’s just silly. It’s like someone wrote it all up and none of it’s true.

I may be 76, but I’m still fightin’. They may have got the best of us. But not the best of me.

My motto…forgive and forget, once you get even…if there’s anything left. I refuse to be squished out by Mole People, really s’all I’m sayin’. It’d just make us look really dumb in the history books. Oh, wait…

About The Author:
Cassandra Michelle Ketrick hails from Jenks, OK, but put down her stakes in Oklahoma City. She prides herself in living life 50% off (via Living Social and Groupon). She only wears her sunglasses at night, and wakes up at 5:45 most mornings to do her Jessica Alba workout routine. She curses like a sailor, but would never date one. When she isn’t throwing ninja stars, you can find her watching Ally McBeal with her cats. When Cassandra grows up she hopes to become a mermaid. She is famous for the quotes, “Make this day yours!” and “I hate running.” She is watching you…but only to use you as future writing material!

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The 2011 Imaginary Family Project is a year-long collective art endeavor coordinated by occasional amateur artist Quentin Bomgardner and co-sponsored by The Red Dirt Chronicles.  This project is based around “lost” vintage photographs, which have been acquired at flea markets, garage sales, estate sales, and eBay – heirloom collections, with no heir.  Every week a different author will “find” one photograph by creating an imagined history around one of its subjects.  At the end of the year, the collection will be compiled and presented as a group.

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