Kelly’s Thoughts: Michael sent me a message a few days ago after he noticed I had written my “Emptynesterology” post. He wondered if perhaps we could tag-team a bit since several of the RDC authors are in various stages of child-rearing (or child-launching). “Sure,” I thought. No problem.
Then a reader named Jeanne wrote to us sharing that she experienced the “oh, they grow up so fast” emotions with children AND grandchildren. So there it was…a brand new thought in my head. The child-rearing, child-launching, grandchild-rearing, and grandchild-launching…they ALL have similar emotions attached. Sentimental. Precious. Wonderful. Sad. Hopeful.
I love that Michael is writing to his “barely one year-old” daughter now. He’s giving her a message that is of the utmost importance: the message to your child that you love them, accept them, and that you are committed as a parent to them regardless of what peaks or valleys lie ahead.
I can share with Michael that there most likely WILL be peaks and valleys. And, if I had to make a prediction…with a girl? Possibly around 5th – 8th grade. It’s definitely a volatile time for sure. Life also throws unexpected curve balls. And sometimes big, fast, intense dodge balls. However, at least to me, it seems that if a mantra is established at bath time that “she can always come home,” then not only will she be equipped to play…but equipped to lose. AND win.
Michael’s Thoughts: Every night, while I dry Isabella off after her bath, I look her right in the eyes and tell her that she can always come home no matter what.
I’ve even taken our little nightly talk and made it into a poem (below) I plan to give her some day when the time is right.
Though I mean every word, and while I don’t think it’s ever too early to start imparting that message to her, I think the spiritual and emotional implications of our almost nightly conversation may still be lost on her tiny thirteen month old heart.
Fortunately, at least for now, time is still on my side and I still have quite a few more opportunities to remind her.
All of this got me thinking about other people I know (even other RDC contributors… Kelly & Jeff to name two) who’s kids are actually at the age where they’re flexing their independence muscles and starting to fly the nest and so I thought it would be a cool idea to tag team a post with Kelly on this subject.
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You Can Always Come Home
If you spill something red and stain the carpet,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If you break something of mine that can’t be replaced,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If you forget your lines and the crowd doesn’t cheer,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If it’s late at night and way past your curfew,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If you dye your hair purple or get a silly tattoo,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If you wreck your car because you were careless,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If you make a bad choice and it comes back to bite you,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If you storm out in anger and run off in tears,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If it turns out you’re wrong and you change your mind,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If you risk it big and fail even bigger,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If you think I’m too mad to ever forgive you,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If you love with all you’ve got and he tramples your heart,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If the mistakes add up and you don’t feel good enough,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If the bridges you’ve crossed seem burned beyond repair,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If you’re tired, or scared, or off all alone,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
If you’re lost out there and can’t find your way back,
I’ll even come get you.
You can always come home.
No matter how bad it seems, no matter what you’ve done,
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
You are my daughter and I will always love you.
I’ll be right here.
You can always come home.
Nothing gets me crying like thinking about my daughter’s future….the good, the bad, AND the ugly. Thanks for the thoughts and the way you are reinforcing to your daughter that she is accepted unconditionally.